The Misunderstandings of When You Fall
by PenguinsOfDoom
Summary: Tut, tut. Did Draco check out Harry? Did Harry check out Draco? No, of course not. Yet. But will a little prank change in anyway how they feel? If not can a series of unwelcome situations open their eyes? Maybe. Find out. READ! SLASH by the way.
1. Prologue

Prologue

Ginny Weasley was usually the sort of person who constantly asked questions, much to the dismay of her parents and then her peers, but when it came to her brothers, Fred and George, she knew it was best not to.

'_Dearest Gin,_

_We've got a mission for you._

_In the vial, that we sent with this letter holds a brilliant little potion we cooked up. Go to the kitchens in the early morning, just before breakfast (y'know, tickle the pear blah, blah, blah) and just sprinkle this beauty on the food- evenly, mind you and on all of it. We want this to be very fair, inter-house unity and all that crap. _

_In any case, you'll probably find the effects amusing…to say the least._

_The potions should start to take effect around a hour after its been taken_. _Probably, if we brewed it right. _

_Don't forget to take some yourself or it'll look suspicious, and of course as the responsible caring brothers that we ARE, we don't want you to get caught. We're entrusting this honourable task to you baby sister (we don't trust Ron, well come on this needs some skill, and with Hermione breathing down his neck…) so don't let us down! Keep up the Weasley legacy!_

_This will be the greatest prank of the YEAR!_

_Your ever-sensible brothers_

_Fred and George_

_P.S. We never sent you this._

Ginny scanned the letter from her brothers again, hastily, and checked she was in the right place. Sure enough, she was standing in the dimly lit passage in front of the fruit bowl painting that concealed the entrance to the kitchens. Carefully she slid Harry's Invisibility Cloak over her and the small vial of purple liquid clutched in her fist. Feeling slightly guilty about nicking the Invisibility Cloak, Ginny comforted herself by reminding herself she could just return it later. Besides, this _was_ for the 'greatest prank' of the year (whatever it was) and it couldn't possibly do any real harm, could it…?


	2. The Consumption

**Disclaimer: Ditto what I said last time. **

* * *

Chapter One The Consumption

The chatter in the Great Hall was just beginning, when Ginny slid unnoticed into her seat. She stared at the food which she had only moments ago poi-no _enhanced the taste of_ in the kitchens. Wait, that was a thought. Fred and George wouldn't poison them, would they? Hmm, well it was too late now, she decided, so she hesitatively began to eat.

* * *

Harry on the other hand, was still in his bed, having an internal battle to whether he should get up or not. His stomach demanded breakfast, but the bed was so warm and comfortable and soft…

Growl.

Sigh, he really should get up.

He rolled over, stretching an arm out of bed to grab his wand on his bedside cabinet, for a quick refreshing spell. Unfortunately he missed, catching the end overhanging the cabinet and sent the wand high into the air. Harry cursed and waited for the sound of it reaching the floor. Which never came. Opening his hangings slowly, stifling a yawn, Harry gazed blearily around his dorm, before reaching out for the black blur which was his glasses. Shoving them onto his nose, he looked up to where his wand was hovering some nine feet in the air.

Turning slowly, he glared at the grinning figure whose own wand was pointed at Harry's, and pulled a face.

Ron chuckled. "Don't look at me like that mate. Just saving your wand from its fate with the floor."

Harry continued his glaring. _My, what a cheerful person Ron is this morning, _he thought irritably, _stupid git, just cause he's gotten some last night doesn't mean he has to rub it in my face._

Ron lowered his wand, letting Harry's pocket itself neatly the side of his boxers.

"Harry, you're not really a morning person are you?" he commented before realising where Harry's wand was currently residing. "Oops, sorry. Thought you had pockets. Hey, stop looking at me like that. It's your own fault you don't wear pyjamas."

"Hmph…too hot…" mumbled Harry sleepily, as he slowly made his way to the bathroom.

Ron snorted disbelievingly. "It's the middle of winter!"

When Harry re-emerged, he was thankfully much more awake. He dressed quickly before hurrying down to the common room to meet Ron and Hermione.

He found them curled up together in a squishy armchair, snogging to their hearts content. Harry grimaced. His best friends had been going out for a couple of months now and although he was extremely glad it had finally happened, this wasn't the best sight to wake up to.

"Come on guys, it's too early in the morning for that!"

Harry pulled the two lovebirds apart, receiving mutters along the lines of 'bastard' (Ron) and 'such a spoilsport' (Hermione). Urgh, this was terrible, _Hermione _was calling him a spoilsport. "Let's go to breakfast."

Ron and Hermione blushed and followed an ever so slightly pissed off Harry out through the portrait hole.

Down at the Great Hall, breakfast was at full swing when our trio found their seats. Across the hall, Draco Malfoy sat with his fellow Slytherins, laughing at an unheard joke, probably about him, thought Harry.

He sighed and buttered a croissant. When he was on his fourth, he felt a pricking sensation on his skin. He looked up to meet a gaze boring into his eyes.

Draco Malfoy was staring at him.

* * *

Malfoy's day had not started out well. He had woken up to the sound of rustling sheets and giggling from the next bed, where Crabbe and Goyle were doing something no friend should ever see. Or any sane person, for that matter, who doesn't want to lose the contents of his stomach. 

After emerging from the bathroom, blond hair sticking to his face and still looking green around the edges, Malfoy was immediately cornered by an oddly flushed crabbed and Goyle. With a combination of grunts and monosyllabic words, they managed to explain to Draco their feelings for each other…only for Draco to rush to the bathroom yet again.

Not that this particularly mattered to Crabbe and Goyle, who just resumed their private business.

Thus, this morning Draco was sitting with Zabini and Nott, without his usual bodyguards.

Looking up from his croissant (which tasted slightly odd) he saw Potter and his friends sitting directly opposite him on the Griffindor table. Ignoring Potter, Draco looked to his right where Theodore Nott was fidgeting with his trousers.

"What _are _you doing, Theo?" he asked, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

"Just checking they're still there," Theo motioned to his trousers, colouring a little but laughing all the same. The Slytherins around him joined in. Poor Nott, yesterday some prick had stalked him, vanishing his trousers at every opportunity. It was only understandable that he was now paranoid.

Draco resumed eating, savouring the warm taste of his croissant in his mouth. He frowned. No, something was definitely wrong with it. he put it down and picked up his hot chocolate. Blowing on it gently, he watched the ripples float across the top of his mug. Just over the rim, he caught sight of Potter. Already half in a dream world, Draco stared at him, noting his mussed up hair and startling green eyes. Glancing lower down on the Griffindor's face, Draco noticed his red shapely lips.

_Hmm, _thought Draco dreamily, _I've never noticed Potter's lips before…they're quite nice actually. If they didn't belong to a guy, I wouldn't mind in the least kissing them…_

At that moment Potter looked up and Draco realised what the hell he was just doing.

_Did I just check out POTTER? _He thought incredulously and proceeded to bang his head on the table, much to the hilarity of his fellow Slytherins.

At one end of the Great Hall, Dumbledore stood up and tapped his fork against his glass, calling for silence.

"My dear students!" his voice boomed across the enormous hall, "You may have noticed that this morning, whilst we were enjoying our breakfast, some of the food had tasted a little different. It has come to my attention that this was because the food has been tampered with, probably in the kitchens before it was served…"

"KILL THE HOUSE ELVES!" a hysterical Ravenclaw first year screamed, standing up onto his seat. Anything else he was going to say was muffled by a large apple pie now smothering his face.

Hermione Granger still held her elf rights ideals strong in her heart, even if most thought now she finally had a boyfriend such nonsense would disappear. She readied herself with the next missile, with 'rights for house elves' on her lips, when Harry lunged forward to grab the cranberry tart from her fingers. He failed, however, to stop it, just put it madly off course. The tart found itself a new target in another's face. One Draco Malfoy's to be exact.

A loud shout of 'FOOD FIGHT!' penetrated the bewildered silence of the Great Hall. Those who weren't falling down in fits of laughter at either Malfoy's stunned tarty face or Ron's desperate attempts to stop his girlfriend committing grievous bodily harm to the first year, lobbed pies and other food stuff at each other.

"SILENCE" rumbled Dumbledore sternly (but with that trademark twinkle in his eyes) and the chucked food stopped in midair to fall like rocks onto the heads of the throwers.

With a bemused smile at the now hushed audience who were covered in fruit and pastry, Dumbledore spoke again in a gentler tone,

"The problem was not at the fault of the house elves. It appears a potion had been administered to much of the food," he smiled widely, seemingly oblivious to the terrified faces. He sat back down, and went back to munching an apple he had previous been eating.

"Hang on! You haven't told us what the potion was!"

The Headmaster looked up. "Your right, Mr Finnigan. Perhaps," he turned to his left to look down the row of teachers, "Professor Snape would care to explain to you. It is his area of expertise after all."

Snape stood up and cleared his throat, looking more than a little annoyed.

"Um, yes, that is," he started in tones quite unlike his usual, "the potion which we all consumed is called the Prae Castimonia, better known as the Virgin Potion," there was a gasp from the few avid readers (mostly Ravenclaws) and giggles from the younger years (and Parviti and Lavender). The rest sat quietly, hung on Snape's every word.

"Used in the Dark Ages right through the Middle Ages, it was a way of determining whether the person in question was ahem a virgin and therefore marriable. As the potion has not been in regular use for more than a century, has been mostly forgotten about. Although there is no known antidote, the effects, however embarrassing, are harmless."

He paused, wondering perhaps whether he could avoid explaining the effect. By the look on the students gave him, that was a no.

"The effects will start around an hour after it has been taken. Writing will appear on your skin, proclaiming your sexual history, starting from your hair line going down to cover as much needed. If however, you are ahem a virgin then it will be clearly stated across your face. Once more, I must emphasise, the effects are harmless and will _eventually_ fade."

Snape sat down with the tiniests of smirks. This was going to be funny, he thought, looking down and seeing the horror that filled almost every student's face…

**

* * *

FINALLY! Sorry, I am an extremely slow typer. Yes I know, no much slash, but what did you expect so early? Anyway review! Please ! I'll love you forever! Well kind of.. **

**-Prae Castimonia means literally means 'show purity' in latin. (i think anyway)**


	3. The Effects

**Disclaimer: All characters seen here were kidnapped by me from Ms J. K. Rowling. **

* * *

Chapter Two: The Effects

Harry sat back, stunned. This. Can. Not. Be. Happening. This has got to be a huge joke the teachers were playing on them. Glancing up to the teachers he saw that most of them carried an expression similar to the one Aunt Petunia wore when Harry trailed mud into the kitchen.

He took that as a no.

Thinking about it, it wasn't so bad, was it? He was a virgin, so really had nothing to hide. Except for the fact that he was a virgin.

Shit.

What could he say? What could he say? He hasn't found the 'one' yet. No, too Hufflepuffy, and way too girly. He hasn't had the time? That made him sound like an unfeeling bastard, almost as bad as saying he couldn't be _bothered_ to have sex. He had a terrible accident as a child, where his manhood was chopped off. Oh great way to get the ladies in the future, Harry, fuck me but I have no cock. What about, no girl has really interested him yet? That made him sound gay. No one is good enough to touch his precious ass. No, that make's him sound disturbingly like Malfoy. He has pubic lice! He shuddered. Nope, not even going to comment.

_Why don't you tell them the truth?_ A Hermione-like voice remarked in his mind.

No.

_Why not, it's better (and less embarrassing) than telling them you having pubic lice._

No way. If I told the truth, half of them will laugh at me and the others will all feel sorry for me.

_…And the pubic lice won't have the same effect?_

Arrgh, shut up.

_If you say so._

_Anyway_ he was more worried about Ginny and Blaise Zabini. They'd started going out since September and had successfully managed to keep it under wraps. No one knew.

Well expect Harry. And he only knew because Blaise had asked his permission to ask Ginny out. God knows why, probably Harry being the closest thing to a responsible brother that wouldn't pound the living daylights out of him for touching Ginny had something to do with it. Oh, and the fact Blaise, the player he once was, had never been in a proper relationship before, so was a bit confused and old fashioned with all the needing permission thing.

But now thanks to the Virgin Potion, they were undoubtedly going to be forced to tell. Harry sighed. Ron was NOT going to take this well. It was amazing actually how no one noticed them already, staring at each other in dismay like that, it was so obvious. He then realised why.

Nearly all of the students (well above second/third years, y'know the people who matter) were looking as devastated as Ginny and Blaise. It was quite funny actually, seeing almost the exact replicas (expression wise) everywhere of the unlikely couple. He watched interestedly as people's gazes gave away their private life. He turned to comment about this to Ron, but stopped at the sight of him. Ron had gone slightly green and was looking at Hermione, (whose cheeks had gone a pale pink while the rest of her face was stark white) who was stared back at him. Harry frowned. What had _they_ got to worry about, everyone knows about them already.

Oh well. Not his problem. He looked away. Harry found his gaze once again on Malfoy. The silver eyed aristocrat looked completely unconcerned by the crisis, even able to steal a bit of toast from someone who was not as calm as he. Harry scowled. That was weird. Malfoy, according to the rumours supplied by Parvati and Lavender, was one of the more, well let's just say, _confident_ guys in their year when it came to girls and he was definitely no virgin. So why wasn't he worried? Didn't he even _care_ that his entire sexual history was going to be paraded around for the world to see. What was wrong with Malfoy!

* * *

Nothing was wrong with Draco, nothing at all. He sighed and snatched the half eaten toast which hung limply from Theo's fingers. Honestly. He didn't know all the fuss was about, really, it wasn't as if he was embarrassed that every sexual encounter he had ever experienced would be brought up to the view of the entire school, in fact he was even rather smug. He _had_ slept with a lot of girls, I mean, even _he_ didn't even know how many. Of course, if he was someone like, let's say Longbottom, he would be devastated to reveal how inexperienced he was. But then if he was Longbottom, he would have killed himself long ago.

This was the second time he had taken this potion. The other time it had been his father, responsible and caring as he was NOT. His parents were having one of their pointless arguments, this time about whether Draco was as promiscuous as his father. Draco had lied of course (it was his _mother_ asking) but had been shown up when his father, furious at losing to his wife, had spiked Draco's drink with the potion. Naturally his father turned out to be right in the end. And he even had the nerve to be proud of his son for his conquests, when everything else Draco did was always too much of something. Oh Draco, your potion is too green, your flying is too twirly, your French is too lilting, your looks are too girly like your mother's. Bastard, just because Draco was beautiful like his mother and his father could only ever be called good looking.

Ok, rant over.

Besides, (back to the potion matter), the Slytherins had DADA on their own, so no other house would see the writing on him. As the rest of his house already knew his reputation, the contents shouldn't shock them.

Draco exhaled heavily. It was because of his reputation (at least he hoped it was) girls now tended to be more wary of him. They wanted relationships and he, like most hormonal sixteen year old boys, basically just wanted a shag. And Malfoys always get what they want.

It was also becoming apparent to him that the girls here weren't so hot anymore…there were a few _real_ hotties but the general female student body weren't great. Of course, a girl tended to lose some appeal once he shagged her. And boys weren't really his thing, he wasn't disgusted at the thought sleeping with one, he just preferred the softness only available in the female body. And breasts. Breasts are niiiiicce.

He sighed. Perhaps he should transfer to Beauxbaton, those French girls are so incredibly hot…

Professor McGonagall suddenly stood up to address the hall.

"Silence please," she paused as the patter in the hall stopped slowly. "Unfortunately there has been a mix up in the timetable for sixth years which will now be rectified."

She waved her wand, sending tiny blue sparks into the air to settle over the sixth years, hovering for a moment, and then darted into bags, coats and robe pockets where the timetables were kept. The spark hovering over Theo, however, darted into the front of his trousers, making his crotch glow blue. Blaise raised an eyebrow.

"Erm Theo, why the hell is your timetable in your trousers!"

A big pink splotch appeared on Theo's face, spanning over his cheeks and nose.

"Well I never know when I need to cover up, do I?" said Theo defensively, balling his fists, "if I ever catch that bas…"

He never finished his sentence. He was too distracted by Blaise's sudden urge to cover his eyes and bite his lip in vain to suppress his uncontrollable laughter. Theo turned to Draco who had made no attempt to hide his sniggers and pointed to Theo's legs. He looked down with a feeling of dread and on seeing what they were laughing about, did only option available to him.

He ran out, screaming.

* * *

Harry watched the skinny legged boy dash from the hall, his face a picture of absolute embarrassment. Hermione emerged from under the table, where she had ducked after glimpsing the boxer clad Nott race past her. Ron glowered as the Great Hall doors slammed shut and shifted so his girlfriend couldn't see Nott running to his common room. She coughed and whispered something in Ron's ear. His ears went pink. Harry pretended not to notice and inwardly sighed. This was becoming a regular routine. 

He picked up his timetable and skimmed through it, checking for any changes. Under the column Monday, lesson one, instead of Herbology was…

* * *

Draco clutched his sides which now hurt tremendously. He tutted. Laughter was good but sometimes it just wasn't worth the pain. Fishing out his timetable from his robe pocket, he checked today's classes. His eyes widened in horror…it was…

* * *

Transfiguration…with the Slytherins!

* * *

Transfiguration…with the Gryffindors!

* * *

Simultaneous groans filled the hall.

* * *

The class chattered ceaselessly, dumping books and parchment on the desks, acting normally despite the worried anticipation of the Virgin Potion effects to begin. McGonagall was not here yet and the teacher-less classroom was taking full advantage of that.

Transfiguration was by far the hardest classes to take and first thing on a Monday morning was the worst time to take it.Even worse than that was the thought of Malfoy seeing that he, Harry Potter was still a virgin. The said boy now appeared in the class doorway, looking more than slightly peeved, which Harry was pleased to see. It didn't look like he was too happy to be laid bare in front of everyone either.

Draco looked around the room, annoyed. Gryffindors! Of all people! Nott and most of the Slytherin girls didn't take this class and Blaise was sitting at the front next to Pansy. Urgh, traitor. It looked like Draco was going to have to risk spewing breakfast and sit next to Crabbe (Goyle didn't get in this NEWTs class). Grimacing slightly, he showed his repulsion at the drooling daydreaming boy on his left. Putting his books on the desk, he looked to his right where Potter was sitting.

_Shit! _Draco thought, _I didn't realise I'd sat next to him!_

Potter raised his eyebrows in surprise. Blatantly, Draco let cool disgust grace his sneering features. Yet whatever the Slytherin looked on the outside (and trust me, he looked goooood), on the inside he was freaking out. Why the hell was Potter staring at him? Did he have an ink splodge on his face or something? Oh god, did he? Did he?

A scream behind him caused him to turn sharply. Dean Thomas' forehead had started to glow with the words '_Parvati Patil, summer term, third year'_ followed by the exact date. Parvarti fainted and Dean blushed, well aware of what was written. More writing scribbled down his face, filling to just below his eyes. Ron grew red. Somewhere near the bottom the words '_Ginny Weasley_' were written.

"YOU…YOU SLEPT WITH MY SISTER! YOU BASTARD I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Sorry, Ron!" cried Dean, dodging the numerous objects being hurled at him, "no! Not the potions book!"

On hearing the contents of Ron's screams, Blaise turned right around in his seat and Draco could recognise danger signs on Blaise's tell-tale temper. His attractive olive face had turned red and his fists were balled. Draco frowned. What the hell was going on with him?

He could see Blaise getting ready to pounce. However a slight tingling distracted Blaise's temper and he paled. Writing was slowly appearing on his forehead, '_Pansy Parkinson, Daphne Greengrass,'_ followed by many others. But the names didn't stop at his face but carried on past his chin, down his neck, past his collarbone and into his shirt. The glowing seemed to finally stop at his navel. Seamus applauded.

Blaise gave a sigh of relief only Harry could understand. It had seemed that being a playboy paid off, Ginny's name was thankfully underneath his shirt. People weren't very shocked at the visible names on Blaise's face. His libido was infamous.

Draco was confused. No one else may have noticed Blaise's almost explosion just before, but he did and he wanted to know what had triggered it. The only thing he could remember was something about the Weasley slut, but that couldn't be it. As Draco was about to question his best friend, he noticed Potter was staring at him _again._

Harry, in actual fact, wasn't staring at Malfoy, whatever Malfoy may think. Nope, he wasn't looking at anything at all, just spacing out, like you do. Malfoy just happened to be in the way.

The soft daylight flooded the Transfiguration classroom, the blue sky devoid of any clouds. Malfoy's features, he noticed, were softened as the pale boy peered at the tattoo-like writing covering Zabini who showed them off proudly. Malfoy suddenly turned to look at him.

"Is anything the matter, Potter?" he sneered unbecomingly. Harry blushed, realising then that he was just ogling Malfoy.

"Er…no, um...I…" Harry started when his eyes widened in shock as a tingling sensation filled his cheeks.

Malfoy raised an elegant eyebrow as Harry failed to come up with an answer and instead proceeded to look horrified.

Slowly the letters V-I-R-G-I-N spelt their way across his forehead.

"P…Potter!" Malfoy screeched. "You're a VIRGIN!"

"Shut up, Malfoy."

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Even Ron and Hermione seemed surprised.

"Harry…" Ron said uncertainly, "er……Cho?"

Harry gave him a look. Ron shrunk back.

Malfoy, finished laughing, brushed a tear from his eye.

"So, Potter. The Weaslette hasn't spread her legs for you yet? Or did you find her too second hand, but then that suits the rest of your st-,"

"Shut up."

Malfoy spun round to meet the owner of that growling voice. Gasps of surprise came from Ron and Hermione. Zabini sat poised and dangerous (if a little ridiculous with all the writing) in his seat, looking no less than furious. Harry slapped his hand on his forehead. No, Zabini, now is NOT a good time to come out.

Before he had time to spew cart loads of curses at his best friend, Draco felt a familiar sensation on his hair line.

_Uh oh,_ thought Draco, _this could be bad._

No one expected Draco to be a virgin but then no one, apart from Blaise, really knew many people he had seduced. He only hoped that the males in this school would not be smart enough to match up the date and the name of his conquests to realise that it was their girlfriends on there.

Draco shut his eyes tight, struggling not to blush ('tis a disgrace to the Malfoy name) as the writing began to fill his forehead.

Harry stared at the names that trickled down Malfoy's face in a steady stream, glad that the unwanted attention was off him (though his sexual status would be spread round the school like wildfire by the end of break). Names spread over Malfoy's eyelids and cheeks but…was that a _blush_ there on his porcelain skin. Wonders will never cease…

This was bad. Very bad. He so took back what he thought earlier, this is humiliating. Girls certainly knew of Draco's reputation before but now this? Well, this will put him off getting laid for a long, long time. Girls just wouldn't trust him!

Whilst Malfoy was suffering his internal mourning for the loss of his promiscuous days, Harry was _still_ staring at him. Malfoy's face was now full, the names carried on past his chin, down his pale neck and skirting his small Adam's apple. Come to think of it, Malfoy was really quite small – like all over.

_Mind you,_ said a voice in Harry's head, _so are you._

Too true, nodded Harry, too true. He wondered how small Malfoy's…NO, will NOT think about Malfoy's dick size thank you very much! With that Harry finally wrenched gaze away.

Draco suddenly felt as if a very strong torchlight had been turned off.

While the writing continued to stain Malfoy's shoulders, Ron was staring in horror at his girlfriend's face. She lied! She lied!

Hermione stared in horror at her boyfriend's face. He lied! He lied!

"YOU!" they exclaimed together, anger tainting their faces pink.

"You told me I was your first!"

"So did you!"

Both of them 'hmphed' loudly and turned away from each other in a huff. Harry groaned.

Draco groaned. The words were now finishing his arms and chest, and started on his stomach muscles but here at last they stopped. An audible gasp ran through the room as he suddenly began to take his top off. He figured, well, now that everyone knew, might as well see for himself exactly who he had fucked.

"Whoa, Dray, I think you'd better stop before Finnigan there gets a bit too excited," Blaise commented dryly, a glint in his eye managing to convey the real message of 'I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU WITH YOUR TOP OFF ANY MORE THAN NECESSARY, YOU NARTISSTIC PRAT!'

Draco snorted, blissfully ignoring it.

"I want to see how many people I got. I bet I beat you. Anyway, so what if Finnigan sees how good in bed I am."

"Y'know," said Seamus in his Irish lilt, "I don't really appreciate my name being thrown around like this."

Draco had got his shirt completely off, exposing his slim muscled body, riddled with names. The class sighed in awe.

"Whoa," exclaimed Blaise, even he surprised, "I didn't know there were that many girls in the school!"

Draco smirked. "Who said they were all girls?" he asked suggestively, raising an eyebrow and licking his lips. Blaise paled slightly.

"Urgh…"

"What's wrong with liking guys?" Draco teased his straight as a stick best friend. Maybe he should bring up that incident…

"Yeah, I totally agree with you," said a certain horny Gryffindor, making Draco notice that Finnigan was sitting on a desk behind him.

"What the…!" Seamus' hands were on his chest, fingers splayed over his nipples and his legs were curled round the smaller boy's waist from behind. This position pulled Draco backwards in between Seamus' legs on to the desk. Draco was momentarily shocked then recoiled from the cold fingers making his nipples erect.

"Eww, Gryffindor cooties!" he cried pulling his shirt back on and jumping away from the offending position.

Seamus grinned playfully but was suddenly hauled backwards by his best friend. Seamus fell purposely (and skilfully) manoeuvring himself onto Dean's lap.

"Aww, Dean I was having fun!"

"You were embarrassing yourself with that bit pornography. No doubt some girls were enjoying it but spare a thought for the rest of us," reprimanded Dean. He struggled to finish his Transfiguration essay which was due in for, surprise, surprise, this lesson, while Seamus hung around his neck, sobbing dramatically.

"Oh Dean, you're so mean to meeeeeee!"

"Yes, yes," humoured Dean, patting the other boy's back in an inattentive sort of way. He glanced at the Irish boy's face and stopped writing.

"Seamus, why is my name on your face?"

Seamus froze. "Huh?"

"Ok, I'll say it in simple terms for you. When the hell have we fucked?"

"Um, about that…" Seamus bit his lip nervously.

"Carry on."

"Well," sighed Seamus guiltily, "you were drunk and I was horny."

Dean raised his eyebrows calmly. He took the mirror Lavender offered him and checked his face. Sure enough, there was '_Seamus Finnigan'_ written as bold as day across his cheek.

"A week ago?"

"Uh-huh."

"Urggh," groaned Dean, covering his eyes.

"Oh come on, Dean," whined Seamus, "you know how I get if I don't get laid at least once a week."

"Seamus just get the fuck off my lap."

"Ohhh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" pleaded Seamus as he clung onto Dean's neck. Dean sighed tiredly.

"You're forgiven. But I need to do my essay," he said as he pushed Seamus off. Seamus pouted, muttering something along the lines of 'fine I'll go to Neville, he's my friend…'

Neville meanwhile was frantically trying to hide his face with his hair. Seamus moved to him, observing him closely.

"Oooo, Neville, whatcha hiding," Seamus peered, "Well, would you look at that! Don't worry, I won't tell anyone that," loudly, "YOU'RE FUCKING THE LOONYBIN!"

Neville squeaked and ducked under the table to escape the stares and the snickers. Harry looked incredulously at him. Neville? With _Luna_? He had no idea. Great, even Neville gets more action than him. Harry felt something warm against his side. He turned to see Seamus rest his head on his shoulder.

"Harrrrryyy. Can I sit on your laaaap?"

"Seamus what did I tell you last time?"

"Well," said Seamus, putting a finger up, "One, your not gay." Two fingers up. "Two, your not interested." Another finger up. "Three…I forgot."

"I'm doing my essay!"

"You're just like Dean with his essays!" Seamus tutted as he jumped on Harry's lap.

"Seamus!"

"It's alright, Harry dear," said Seamus, wriggling his bum into Harry (who blushed), "I'll do the essay for you."

He snatched the quill off Harry and began scribbling on the parchment.

"No! Seamus, no! What are you writing!" Harry struggled to see what the sandy haired boy on his lap was doing to his work. Damn, that boy must have had too much sugar this morning; he was even more hyper than usual. Making a grab at the parchment, Harry's eyes widen in horror behind his glasses.

'_My name is Harry Potter and I love to suck cock. Especially Seamus Finnigan's cock because it's so big and juicy and hot. I love the sensation of it running down my throat. Lalalalalaaaaa, I'm gay, I love cocks. Juicy!'_

"Seamus!" cried Harry as he pushed the dirty boy off his lap. "Look what you've done! I have to hand this in to McGonagall do you realise!"

Seamus stared up apologetically as Harry started magicing off his foul words. He sidled up to the Golden Boy.

"I've been a bad boy haven't I, Harry?" asked Seamus sweetly.

"Uh-huh, you can say that again."

"And I need to be punished don't I Harry?"

Harry's head whipped round. "What?"

Seamus grinned. "You're gonna take me to our dorm, tie me up and beat me till I'm black and blue, aren't you Harry?"

The look on Harry's face cracked Seamus up. Annoyed Harry pushed the cackling boy away. That dirty little bastard!

On their right, Draco buried his face in his arms. His brief encounter with Finnigan and all the commotion with the Virgin Potion had just reminded him how really sexually starved he was. And he also remembered how it was _all_ Blaise's fault, daring him to go on a sex-free diet for two whole _months. _A month had past and it had been a living hell.

"Looks like you're getting what you deserve," commented Blaise irritably, swapping seats with Crabbe (who didn't mind Pansy spewing rubbish in his ear).

"I hate you."

Blaise rolled his eyes. "You accepted the dare."

"A Malfoy never backs down at a slight to his name," sniffed Draco haughtily.

"As stubborn as a Gryffindor, you are," sighed the honey skinned Slytherin.

Draco glared at him. "That was low, Blaise."

The other boy shrugged noncommittally. "You insulted Ginny."

"So? I do that all the time. And when did you start calling her by her first name?"

"Ginny is my girlfriend."

Draco gaped. Blaise with that filthy blood traitor WEASLEY? But of course it all made sense now. How little he insulted her family recently, how often he was supposed to be in the library, how he didn't boast of who he had caught anymore. The meaning for the dare was obvious too, so Draco wouldn't force him out to those crazy orgy parties with him anymore. Blaise didn't meet his eye as he fiddled with his quill.

"You…you…traitor," Draco murmured. Blaise scoffed uneasily.

"It's not as if I'm shacking up with Potter or Granger, god forbid."

The blonde shuddered. Granger and Blaise, now there was something he did not want to think about. Bad, bad mental image. As were Granger and Weasley (male) which, however unfortunate, was not a mental one. Now Potter and Blaise…god, let's not think about that. Alright, the Weaslette did look good with Blaise and had a personality to match but still…

"She's a Weasley!"

"It's you, not me, who has a family feud against the Weasleys."

"She's a blood traitor, you said yourself!"

Blaise's eyes darkened. "Need I say, so is your aunt, so is your cousin. Anyway," he added quietly, "you know I'm not into that sort of stuff anymore."

Taking in Blaise's disappointed face, Draco realised that his best friend had been asking for his approval in his subtle, underhand way. Draco hated Weasley in every conceivable way (well, perhaps not in looks; that girl has one good ass) but Blaise meant a lot to him, for being there and supporting him.

"Are you serious about her?" he asked.

"Yes, very," answered Blaise with feeling, "Are you alright with it.?"

Draco shrugged. "I've got to hand it to her, she must be pretty something to settle _you_ down."

Blaise smiled happily. "Trust me, she is."

"Well then that's sorted. By the way, you've better watch out, her idiot brother's been listening to every word we've said and looks like he's gonna kill you."

Draco watched Blaise spin round to a fight with Weasley and groaned again.

"I need sex, I need sex."

"Maybe I can help you there," a voice whispered in his ear as a hand began stroking down his back going further and further towards…

"Finnigan!"

Seamus grinned behind him. "Oh, hi there, Malfoy! Fancy meeting you here!"

"Don't touch me your homo hands!"

"Me?" exclaimed Seamus seeming outraged. "A homo! Now why would I hinder my options like that?"

Two dark hands placed themselves on Seamus' shoulders. Dean steered him away from the furious Malfoy, back to his desk where his successfully completed essay lay.

"Now Seamus, if you be good for the rest of the day, I'll fuck you later, OK?"

"Really?" Seamus' eyes lit up. "OK, I'll be good."

And he quickly sat down next to him. And went to sleep. Dean shook his head and muttered, "Idiot."

"How the hell can you stand that!" cried Malfoy dumbfounded. "I mean he's crazy!"

Dean shrugged. "He's not normally as bad as today. It was the cranberry juice this morning. Believe me, cranberry juice is _bad_ for his system."

"But how do you put up with that permanently horny lunatic?"

"You get used to it," Harry joined in, "it's like how we like to know how Zabini puts up with you being such an insufferable prick."

Zabini tossed his head to their direction and snorted, "You know, I ask myself that everyday."

Before Malfoy could smack his best friend the classroom door swung open. The class hushed and rushed to their seats as Professor McGonagall entered. Only to burst out laughing. McGonagall was wearing a brown paper bag with two holes cut out for eyes in a hurried attempt to save her dignity. Or not, as it was the case. The class silenced as she gave them her sternest gaze but she could not muffle out the odd snigger.

Stupid brats.

"Students, we will this lesson be practising the spell we learnt in our last meeting, the Adfectio spell, which changes the state of matter. This _should_ be extremely simple for you sixth years so please make sure you get this right, it will almost certainly be in your NEWTs. Get yourself each a block of clay from the front and begin."

McGonagall sighed. This Virgin Potion had brought back memories, memories of loves, memories of when she was young and beautiful. Ok fine, she was never beautiful but had been quite striking in her day. Oh and Geoffrey! She smiled underneath the paper bag at the sweet memories of her first love. No, no, she can't think about him now, she had a class to look after. Well to look at anyway.

Let's see, oh my, Mr Malfoy and Mr Zabini had names all over. Quite the players, eh? Finnigan wasn't far off either. Thomas wasn't too bad, wait was that his best friend's name on there? How strange. Longbottom has a single name which was one more than she expected. Miss Granger and Weasley had each other's names like she had thought, and Potter had…oh dear god!

She was terribly thankful for the paper bag as the class turned towards her when she fell of her chair. Potter was a virgin! Why? It wasn't as if he was bad looking, quite the opposite, with that stunning mop of ebony hair mussed up just enough to look adorable, those intense emerald eyes, dark lashes, red lips, smooth tanned skin, lean strong arms to sweep you off your feet…

Oh dear god, did she just lust over her sixteen year old pupil? All those thoughts about Geoffrey must have addled her brains. Perhaps she shouldn't have drunk that bit of sherry this morning, or pondered over the non existent love life of The-Boy-Who-Lived. It was bound to be as complicated as everything else in his life.

Still, it was ridiculous that the most attractive male should be one of the only virgins in this class. Well one of the most attractive males, Draco Malfoy did equal, if not suppress, Potter in looks. She personally blamed that on the glasses. She did not like that pale baby soft skin and slender fingers which screamed 'I've never done any work in my life and I'm proud!' but even she could not deny he was handsome. She would argue though, that his face was too sharp and feminine and his eyes (whose intense crystal-like quality were similar to Potter's) were too cold and malicious, but she had a feeling that people would just drool over him rather than listen to her.

She remembered the Lovegood girl had said something about them to her this morning, before the lesson. Now what was it she said? Damnation, she can't remember! She really shouldn't have had that glass (or was it two glasses, or three?) of sherry. Oh well, neither of those boys compared to her Geoffrey anyway.

In the time which had past, Harry had made his block into a liquid, a gas and back to a solid, then dropped it, picked it up, made little figures out of it and charmed them to dance. In other words he was utterly bored. He would have asked McGonagall for some other work to do but she was looking at him weirdly and he felt slightly scared. How ironic, the only time he was willing to do extra work, the most sensible teacher in the school has to go dozy.

He would have talked to his friends but they were busy, Ron arguing with Zabini over Ginny (which Harry did NOT want to get involved in, seeing as he knew about the couple already and would be on the receiving end of Ron's wrath), and Hermione was having those 'girl talks' with Lavender and the recently awakened Parvati (which he was not going to get involved in for obvious reasons). Dean was asleep. Harry sighed boredly and glanced to his right.

Draco idly doodled onto the desk. A snitch, a snake, an ice cream cone. Sighing with as much boredom as Harry, he brought a finger to his lips and licked it, a little too provocatively than it needed to be, and wet the dry ink to wipe it away. Conscious of being watched, he looked up to see Potter staring at him again.

_What is wrong with the scarhead today?_ He thought curiously, _well; in any case, let's spice up this drab of a lesson._

He turned to face the other boy.

"What Potter, jealous?" Draco grabbed Harry's forefinger and put it almost against his lips, close enough for Draco to lick it if he had wanted to. He smirked, eyes narrowing in challenge.

Harry withdrew his hand quickly and glared angrily. Malfoy sneered and opened a packet of Drooble's best bubblegum. He took a small stick from it and put it between his forefinger and thumb. Placing it lightly on his lips, he drew his tongue back and forth, back and forth over it. Harry struggled not to be mesmerised by the almost hypnotic movement of the pink wet tongue teasing him. And he wasn't the only one. Malfoy smirked again, before placing the gum in his mouth and chewed it.

"Wouldn't you like to do _that_ for me? Probably the closest you'll ever come to a kiss, virgin boy."

Harry coloured slightly but managed to reply coolly, "Hitting on me, Malfoy? My, my, your father's not going to be pleased by that is he?"

The class became silent, watching the two rivals in excitement. Malfoy raised his eyebrows haughtily, "You wish, Potter."

"Surprisingly enough, no I don't. Nor do I want to put anything in your mouth, but I'm sure Snape's already put something _else_ in there, hasn't he, Malfoy?"

The Gryffindors laughed and cheered Harry's inventive comeback, while the Slytherins glowered and gritted their teeth. Malfoy's lip curled in disgust and a blush graced his cheeks.

"Just because you're sexually repressed, Potter, doesn't give you an excuse to think up sick perverted sexual _fantasies_ concerning me and teachers," he leered, giving his housemates a chance to jeer at their enemy. Just as Harry, red and furious, was about retort, the bell for the end of the lesson rang. Students packed up and ran out, as McGonagall dismissed them dreamily. Fuming, Harry grabbed Malfoy's elbow as the blonde was leaving.

"This isn't over, Malfoy!"

Draco grinned evilly. "Oh no Potter, this is just beginning."

No one noticed as they left, a lone head nodding in agreement in the corridor.

**

* * *

PHEW! That was a long chapter. If you are offended by Seamus' hyperactive crudeness, I'm sorry, I'm really am! It's not my fault he had cranberry juice hides behind sofa. Anyway I hope you enjoyed it so far, any review will be appreciated. A lot! So pleez comment. And don't get worried about Harry's (and Draco's) current straightness, if I say this is a Draco Harry slash fic, then it is. All in good time…**


	4. Photos

**Disclaimers: It seems to me that I don't own any of the characters in here.**

**BTW this chapter may be a little confusing, I may have to rework it later but I wanted to get this down as fast as I could.**

* * *

Photos

(a.k.a Just One More Step)

Draco lay on one side of the dark green couches (with their too upright backs) in the Slytherin Common Room, twitching. With an air of a cat, he flexed his muscles and pushed his shoulder blades up, feeling the stretch down his vertebrae. He rolled onto his back, disturbing the cushions beneath him but he could _not_ get comfortable no matter what he did. To make matters worse, he was bored, extremely bored. Everyone's names had faded off shortly before lunch and _that_ had been five hours ago.

"Rrrg!" he growled, once again like a feline. Draco threw a cushion at Blaise who was sitting opposite him, hoping he would entertain him. The olive skinned boy threw it back at him angrily, hitting Draco full on the face.

"Go find something to do, you prick. Do that potions essay or something, I'm busy!"

"But I've done all my homework!" Draco whined.

"Do I look as if I care?" snapped Blaise irritably, "Get up from that lazy arse of yours and away from me."

"Being scared shitless that Weasley going to write to his brothers for reinforcement doesn't count as being busy," objected Draco snidely, "But now that you mentioned my arse…"

"Shut up. No sex, remember? Just go find Crabbe and Goyle or something, I'M BUSY!"

Crabbe and Goyle. That was an idea, he hadn't thought of that. He stood up and left for his dorm room, but at the bottom of the dormitory stairs, he remembered why and tried not to retch.

_Don't think about it; don't think about it, look at the fire, nice fire, nice fire. Look, a face in the fire, nice face in the fire, nice face in the fire, yes what a nice face in the fire…wah? FACE IN FIRE! _Draco did a doubletake then realised it was only Theo speaking with his father. _God, I'm jumpy today, _he thought and decided being in the common room didn't help. Anyway Theo needed privacy.

Climbing through the portrait hole, he let his feet wonder to wherever, eventually arriving to the top of the staircase leading to the library. Here he paused, letting the cool winter air wash over him from the stone outlets stationed above the main entrance. They weren't always opened, so Draco indulged in one of the few times in the year they were. Below him he could see the few odd students milling around before dinner, but one caught his eye.

It was obviously male, but a small one, slender bordering on skinny. Draco preferred that to big and beefy, in girls as well as boys, because (Blaise said) it was similar to his own build. Draco shrugged. He never denied being conceited. Looking from up above, Draco ascertained that the boy was probably in his year and seemed pretty good looking. But that unruly dark hair was vaguely familiar and the glasses…god no…was that boy he had been checking out…Harry fricking Potter? His suspicions were confirmed when a tall red headed boy and a bushy brunette ran up to him. Oh dear god, not only did he just check a boy (he wasn't too bothered about that, it just didn't happen often) it was _Potter_! _Again_! For the second time today, Draco went to look for something hard hit his head against. The wall behind him met his criteria perfectly.

The two lovebirds (or lovetrolls as Pansy seemed fond of calling them) Crabbe and Goyle were looking for somewhere a bit more private to go about their business. Little did Draco know, no sooner had he left the common room,Theo had finished with his conversation and had wondered upstairs, walking in on the two teens in the middle of something heated.

Oh, the irony kills, doesn't it?

Thus Draco, busy losing brain cells, came to find the couple behind a tapestry.

For a split second no one moved then Draco ran off screaming and Crabbe and Goyle merely resumed their passionate business.

Having calmed down slightly, Draco found himself in front of the library. He really had nothing to do in there but the memory of the two of them…urgh. (A/N; Draco isn't homophobic, it's just, well its Crabbe and Goyle for goodness sake! BTW Draco is slightly bisexual if you hadn't already noticed). He rushed blindly into the library trying to get the mental image out of his head. Not looking where he was going, Draco tripped over a book and landed head first into…something.

Shit, shit, shit! Draco cursed inwardly at his clumsiness. How could he trip over like that, right in front of everyone as well! Heart beating from shock, Draco tried (and failed miserably) to take in his surroundings.

Harry was sitting in the library, slumped over his chair, legs wide open as boys tend to do, when suddenly a blonde whirlwind entered the library and lodged itself between his legs. The blonde gave a muffled squeak and Harry immediately recognised it as Malfoy. Unable to respond from the shock, he sat there with his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish.

Draco realised from heat radiating off his cushion, that whatever it was he had landed on was most definitely a person, who was, grope, grope, very well muscled. Then he came to see he was stationed in between the person's legs and their crotch was emitting slight warmth to his waist. He gulped and looked up, straight into Potter's eyes.

A split second later a flash of a camera was seen, temporarily blinding the boys, before they jumped to their feet. However, in the commotion, Harry's fingers had been forked in between Draco's so when they got up…time for another photo moment. As the flashbulbs went off again and the cameraman disappeared.

Left confused and alone, Harry and Draco looked at each other. Draco wrenched his hand away and stormed out, leaving Harry with his thoughts. Which were just basically, 'huh?'

* * *

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(The Next Morning)

Harry yawned and stretched, making his jaw creak. Swinging his legs out of bed, he realised there was someone else in bed with him.

"Ron?" he whispered weakly.

Ron mumbled indecipherably and clung onto Harry's waist, shouting;

"Not Mr Twiggy! Not Mr Twiggy!"

Harry sighed. Ron was having a nightmare about his teddy turning into a spider again. Detangling himself from Ron's grasp, Harry got out of bed only to trip over Crookshanks. He swore and walked into the door, breaking his glasses. Taking them off, he repaired them and entered the bathroom.

"Today really sucks," he muttered to himself. He didn't know how right he was.

On entering the Great Hall, he ignored the stares he was receiving, putting it down to the normal publicity he got and pulled up a chair next to Hermione and Ron (who relatively showered and got changed quicker than Harry), both of whom looked slightly worried.

"Harry," Hermione blinked a few times and continued, "I know it must be weird for you, with the two of us going out and everything, but why didn't you tell us?"

"Yeah mate," nodded Ron solemnly, "I can understand that you didn't want everyone to know, with all the publicity you'll get, but we're your best friends! You could have told us!"

Harry put down his buttered toast slowly and narrowed his eyes. Where was this heading?

"Tell you what?" he asked curiously, for he had no idea what the hell they were talking about.

Hermione sighed, "We _know_, Harry, you don't have to hide it from us. We know…"

"That you're GAY!" finished Ron loudly. Hermione smacked him for his indiscretion. Harry looked at them dumbfounded.

"What!" he spluttered, "I didn't tell you I was gay 'cause I'm not!"

"Mate, we _know_. Don't deny it!"

"Shh, Ron, I think I know what this is about," said Hermione lowly, taking hold of Harry's hands, "Harry, I know how much having a family means to you, that you really want to have a 'normal' family in the future, with a wife and kids because you never had that. You're worried that if you're gay then you can't have kids and people would see you even more different from before. You don't want that."

"But don't worry," said Ron, catching up, "In the Wizarding World, people don't really find homosexuality as being weird or disgusting or anything, I mean it's a minority but so is being a red head and we aren't shunned from society!"

"No-one is going to treat you differently, and about kids, there's potions and spells that's been done with surrogate mothers. And you always know Harry," she said looking intently into his eyes, "I would love to carry your baby."

"Hermione!" cried Ron. Hermione blushed at the other meaning her words implied.

"I didn't mean it like that! Anyway Harry, don't think people will judge you or your child, I mean Lisa Turpin is the product of a gay couple and no one picks on her about it!"

"Really?" Harry's eyes wandered off to the Ravenclaw table, "wow, I never knew…I mean that's not the point! The point is that I'm not gay, ok? Not. Gay!"

"Really?" asked Ron dubiously.

"Really!" replied Harry, "For god's sake I've had dreams about Angelina, Alicia and Katie pole dancing together!"

Oops, maybe he shouldn't have said that. Hermione, blushing again, whacked Ron over the head to stop his dreamy faraway look.

"Wow, you really have a thing for Quidditch girls," murmured Ron dazed. Harry looked pointedly at Hermione.

"God, Harry, I didn't need to hear that!" Hermione shook her head, "you know I'll never be able to look at any of them in the face now."

"Well at least you can believe me!"

"You can like girls _and_ boys."

"Hermione! I told you, I don't like boys that way!"

"Then how do you explain this!" Hermione thrust something under Harry's nose. Pulling it away from his face, Harry saw it was a photograph. Peering at it carefully, he saw it was the scene from the library yesterday. It detailed him, the Golden Boy of Gryffindor, holding hands with the Ice Prince of Slytherin, Malfoy. But it wasn't just that, there was something about which was different from what he remembered. The people in the photograph were moving and the photo Harry and the photo Malfoy were…urgh!

As his breakfast lurched to the surface, Harry tore the photo in half, splitting the two kissers apart. Running to the bathroom, Harry threw down the pieces in disgust.

"Hey! I paid seven Sickles for that!" huffed Hermione annoyed. Ron turned to face his girlfriend in amazement.

"Hermione, you weren't planning to keep it were you?"

"You better be quiet, Ronald Weasley, I know about those magazines under your bed!"

That shut him up.

* * *

The forgotten pieces drifted on a draft from under the main entrance doors. Who should pick them up but Draco Malfoy and on having picked up the pieces he fitted them together, cocking his head to one side to get a better look. As the halves were joined, the people in the picture looked delighted. The photo Harry pulled the photo Draco towards him and they resumed the heated snogging. Draco watch in fascination for a moment as photo hands roamed over each other's bodies, crawling under a shirt, squeezing a buttock, until he recognised his own blonde hair and the familiar scene in the library. Actually, no so familiar scene, as he certainly didn't remember doing that!

Having had no breakfast as par yet, Draco merely felt bile rise. In panic, he dropped the photo and sprinted to the bathroom.

Of course, in his rush, Draco didn't see a small hand pick up those pieces and its owner smirking. Yes, yes, everything was working.

In the cool confines of his cubicle, Harry was bent over the porcelain toilet bowl. He hadn't yet been sick but he still felt pretty bad. Maybe if he actually went to the toilet he would feel better.

Meanwhile in the next cubicle, Draco had the same revelation and soon there was just the sound of tinkling liquid in a toilet bowl.

There was a flush then another and the two boys unlocked their respective cubicles and saw each other with widened eyes.

They both opened their mouths to scream then thought better of it. Draco readied himself for a shouting. It never came. Harry just turned around and walked towards the sinks.

"Malfoy, you didn't happen to see those photos this morning did you?"

"Well now that you mention it- yes." Draco looked ill as he remembered. Harry gazed at him with worried eyes.

"It didn't happen, did it? I mean, I don't remember anything like that, but then my memory could have been modified or-,"

"Of course it didn't happen, you idiot! These pictures are obviously magically altered, I mean they have to be because we would never do that, it's revolting…" Draco trailed of anxiously.

Harry shrugged, "Someone could have cursed us or something."

"What sort of lowlife would curse us, take pictures of us," shudder "making out, then obliviated our memory?"

"There are plenty of crazy people on the world," Harry shook his head, "but you're right, the photo must have been magically altered, 'cause by what our photo selves were doing, we would have swollen lips and scratch ma-,"

"Urgh, shut _up_, Potter. I don't want to here it."

Harry moaned and covered his face, "Now the whole school thinks we're going at it don't they?"

He could see suspicion etched on to Malfoy's face, like he was considering his answer but when he opened his mouth to retort, the bathroom door slammed open and a cocky fifth year swaggered in, pretending to mask his eyes.

"So sorry for interrupting but can you hold your sordid love fest while I take a piss?"

Hexes and jinxes filled the air from both Harry's and Draco's wands.

"See what I mean?" commented Potter to an angry Draco. Potter stepped over the prone form of what was left of the fifth year to pick up a piece of paper that had flown from the boy's robes as he collapsed on the floor.

"What's that?" asked Draco, nodding towards the paper.

"I'm not sure…" Potter started then his eyes flew wide open and anger stained his face. "You better see this."

Draco took the paper gingerly from Potter and realised it wasn't paper after all. It was a photo again. Of Harry and Draco in the library again. Draco's face filled with horror as he looked at it with grim anticipation. The Library scene was perfect down to the golden spines of the books and the antique flooring. Moving figures danced in the background. Photo Potter and photo Draco were rather enjoying their forked position a little too much. There was a pile of hurriedly discarded clothes to one side and Potter and Draco were sweating slightly as they moved against each other.

Draco grimaced. This was sickening, no this was worse than sickening, this was downright WRONG. Why was Potter dominant may he ask? WHY? I mean, Draco was the experienced one and Potter was the virgin! And…what he doing now? The photo Potter was pushing Draco's head lower and lower…

_ARGH! _He screamed inside his head, _that's disgusting! Don't you dare look as if you enjoy it!_ He said mentally to his photo self.

"POTTER!" he shrieked, flinging the photo down. But his calls were in vain. Harry had already left in favour of his new favourite sport – Creevey bashing.

* * *

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* * *

Draco stumbled as the icy North wind shot through his clothes. He shivered and looked down from the tower window sill were he currently stood. Wow. It sure was a long way down; he was definitely going to break some bones. No, that's not the point, he was going to die! He needs to die! He looked down again. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Wait, what was he talking about? Of course he wasn't going to chicken out. Anyway, he had no choice – when his father gets wind of those photos…he shuddered.

_Don't think about it, don't think about it._

He looked down again at the ground far below him; Hagrid's hut being a tiny speck. Come on, Draco, just one more step. But maybe he shouldn't do this, I mean, is it dramatic enough? If he was going to die might as well do it properly. Maybe he should spontaneously combust in the middle of dinner, splattering everyone with his body parts. Eeeeeewww. Oh, then he won't be the perfect corpse. And how do you plan spontaneously combusting? Ok, Draco, stop making excuses, just one more step, or twenty shuffles if that's how you want it. He braced himself and was just about to (maybe) jump when…,

* * *

Minerva McGonagall was still very much annoyed. Having to spend more than two lessons with a paper bag over her head was not her idea of fun. Even if it had happened the day before, the memory of it was fresh in her mind. And she had a ruddy bad headache as well, which she was NOT going to get a hangover potion for because it was NOT a hangover.

The children were excited this morning too and she didn't know why, which made her mood even worse. Perhaps she should ask Poppy, she is the best (or worst whichever way you see it) gossip in the school. Something about photos or rather, but really she wasn't that interested. Yeah right. In any case, she strode purposefully down the corridor, now really, just _what_ did Mr Malfoy think he was doing!

"Get down from there!" she snapped, biting back the words 'you insolent brat,' that lay on her tongue. She tugged on the bottom of his robes and hurried off.

* * *

A sharp tug on the back of his robes alerted Draco to the teacher's presence, but left him rather overbalanced. He flailed his arms wildly but to no avail, his balance would not come back to him. He tumbled backwards, expecting the cold hard stone floor to meet him but instead…Harry was out of breath. Despite his physical fitness he had lost the Colin Creevey trail a while back and only sheer outrage reduced him to going round in circles 

…landed straight into an irritated Potter's arms.

Harry blinked as a large robed lump hurtled from above and straight into his arms. The lump stirred and moaned slightly and buried itself in the front of Harry's robes.

Draco felt Potter's muscles contract as he was caught and he could feel strong hands grip him. He moaned at his rotten luck. It just had to be Potter hadn't it, the cause of all these problems.

Out of sheer mortification at being caught (literally) in this situation and on being pushed around by an elderly teacher, Draco hid his face Potter's robes in embarrassment. If there any was a time to spontaneously combust, it was now.

It had to be a girl, Harry reckoned, it was too small and slender for it not to be, and look she was blonde. Wait, Harry knew that hair anywhere. Draco Malfoy! 

Draco inwardly cursed. He needed to come up for air. He looked up into Potter's face. Potter looked a little freaked out? Ha! At least that's something. Draco opened his mouth to say something witty and smart, no doubt, but there was suddenly a flash of a camera, and then…

His (admitted beautiful) arse met the ground with a large thonk.

Harry had come back to his senses when the yellow/white light spilled across their faces suddenly.

"Creevey," he breathed and dropped the body he held.

"Owww!" Draco whined, glowering at the retreating figure.

"Sorry, Blondie!" Potter called back to him before darting off in search of the photographer.

Draco sighed and picked himself up. He hobbled to the Great hall for the remains of lunch, dusting off his bum as he went.

Half an hour later, Draco passed a dishevelled Colin Creevey on the stairs clutching a broken camera, swearing vengeance. Draco grinned, feeling one of the rare moments when he felt anything resembling goodwill to The-Boy-Who-Lived.

"That'll teach you to take pornographic pictures of me, Creevey! You better be grateful it's only your camera that's broken!" he sneered to the younger boy, who muttered oaths of revenge. Hah, like he could do anything with that broken old thing.

Oh, how wrong was he…

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Sorry for taking a terribly long time. You know how it is, chores homework, life… Anyway, it's finally beginning to get to the bigger part. Tell me what you think! Pleez!**


	5. Fatal Fallings

**Disclaimer: I own zilch. So don't harass me!**

**Bit more slash (I think) in this one. Hey their relationship is a gradual process!**

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Chapter Four: Fatal Fallings

The next morning both Harry and Draco went to breakfast without incident, if you discount the mutterings surrounding the two, which they did as it was only expected from what happened yesterday. At this point they firmly ignored each other, although they did sneak glances when no one was looking. Just to see how the other was taking it of course. They went to their respective tables and waited for their post to arrive.

Draco sat down carefully at the table and picked up a croissant to butter it. He was about to take a bite but thought better of it. He'd gone off croissants recently. He sat with his legs crossed one over the other, sipping his coffee delicately. Glancing at the other tables, he noted the usual gazes of his many admirers. It seemed that thing with Potter hadn't affected his popularity at all; actually it might have even enhanced it. He smirked and was about to get up to go to 'talk' to one of them when Blaise caught his arm.

"Ah, ah, ah. No sex remember?" he sniggered, "And I thought Potter was enough for you."

Draco scowled murderously and sat back down. He pouted and proceeded sulk until a barn owl flew down with half a dozen others to deliver the Daily Prophet to students.

Harry's piece of toast was laden with vast amounts of chocolate spread but still he was putting on more. Distracted by Lavender's copy of Witch Weekly, he didn't realise what he was doing.

Did women really think that being as thin as death appealed to men? Harry was just about to comment on this to Seamus (Ron being currently …ahem, indisposed with Hermione) when he noticed the Irishman's vacant expression and glazed eyes. Drool had started to form at the side of his mouth and dripped on to the side of the magazine. Lavender snatched the copy away protectively- Seamus looked heartbroken. Apparently, stick thin women appealed to him. Like every other women. And men.

Harry noticed Dean looked slightly weary and irritated as he wiped the drool off his best friend's face with a tissue. Harry didn't blame him. Seamus was trying at the best of times; Harry wondered how Dean coped. Of course, Harry cared for Seamus like a brother but still, the very physical affection, the embarrassing comments, the constant flirting. Harry shuddered and took a bite of his toast smeared chocolate.

Having demolished his breakfast quickly, Harry delicately wiped his mouth (or rather his face) whilst the post arrived. A large barn owl fluttered down from the rafts and dumped the paper on to his head.

"Oww!" he moaned. All over the hall he could see other people's papers landing neatly on their laps.

"How come I always get _you_ anyway?" he growled at the bird and laughed when the owl tried to growl back. "Here."

He handed it a coin and the owl ducked its head in appreciation, looking slightly crossed-eyed as it did so. Harry snickered again as the bird took off lopsidedly. But his laughter stopped short as soon as he saw the front page…

Across the hall, Draco handed his particularly friendly owl a coin and watched it go off. Shaking out the paper, he scanned the headlines while he leant back in his seat. (Which is strange, as he is supposed to be sitting on a bench like everyone else. But let's just forget that loophole in logic and get back to the point.). His neatly creased trousers hung on his hips and folds of soft fabric hid shiny dragon hind boots. New, may he add, just imported from Italy. Elegance was the word which clung to him; he even let a few strands of white gold hair float in front of his face, while the rest were tucked behind his ear as he sipped his coffee with_out _slurping (which in itself is a great achievement).

Every inch a man/boy (though some would beg to differ, e.g. Ron, Harry, the rest of the Gryffindor boys, Blaise, to just name a few) with impeccable manners (yes many argue with that too) and appearance (surprisingly few disagree with that) and he knew it. Whilst he _still_ scanned the headlines (A/N: Draco isn't slow at reading, he's just having his nartisstic 'I'm beautiful' moments') he caught the eyes of many girls, _and _a few boys while he was at it. He was just flirting with them (the boys) seeing as he didn't really swing that way. Not that he _can _do anything else but flirt as that bastard (Blaise) was holding him by a leash.

Finally getting down to actually reading the paper in oppose to posing, Draco moved past one headline to read the other story on the page…

His heart stopped dead. There next to the headline, 'HAS HARRY FOUND LOVE AT LAST?' (An erotic, heart warming, TRUE LIFE story of a couple's secret romance) were the pictures. The pictures of the 'library scene' and of…

"Fucking hell," Draco swore. There in the NEWSPAPER was the latest picture. A motherly looking Potter was patting a bundle in his arms which looked like Draco. No joke, it was Draco! The photo him was nuzzling at Potter's chest and had his arms around Potter's neck.

Draco felt sick. His coffee suddenly tasted disgusting. He'd just realised something. They were in the paper! What! Why? How? Potter had broken that creep Creevey's camera! He smashed it to little pieces. He ripped the film! Didn't he?

Draco slapped his head. Potter had forgotten about the film! The idiot! The bloody Gryffindor!

Draco fervently prayed that they didn't sell newspapers in Azkaban.

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0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

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"You too, Potter?"

"Jumping? Yeah."

The two rivals, now supposedly secret gay lovers, stood side by side on the very same window sill as yesterday, bracing themselves against the strong cold wind.

During breakfast, Harry had seen the articles and had gone into hysterics, storming from the hall with Ron and Hermione tagging along behind him. Harry, however had left them, left their knowing looks and 'I thought you said's and was contemplating suicide. OK, not contemplating now, seeing as he already on the edge. This was it. He couldn't take anymore. His whole life had been a traumatic incident after another, parents being killed, a shitty neglected abused childhood in the closet, finding out that he's a wizard and magic existence and that most things he believed in is absolute crap, having a psycho dark lord after him, being famous suddenly for something he couldn't remember, the chamber of secrets, Dementors, the Triwizard Tournament, being slandered across the newspaper, Cedric being murdered, Voldemort coming back to life, being slandered across the newspaper _again_, girl trouble, Sirius dying. The list goes on. So this had been the last straw. Not only had the Daily Prophet ruined his reputation once again, they even had the nerve to say that he had some sort of romantic goings on with _Malfoy _of all people, who is a _boy_ for god's sake and...gosh, that's a long way down, isn't?

Draco's eyes narrowed in distaste at the ebony haired boy next to him. God, can't Potter be a little more original. Jumpingout ofa window, really. Why is his eyes all glazed over like that? Maybe Potter's dying. Hope so. But what if he smells? Why wasn't Potter payingattention to him? This won't do. As much as Draco hated to have any physical contact withhis enemy,he could see no alternative but to poke him. Hard.

"Oww!" Harry rubbed his arm, "What's your problem?"

"Do you really need to ask?" said Draco sarcastically, "Anyway, you do realise that I'm going first, don't you?"

"What! Why?"

"Because I want to organise a welcoming party for you up in heaven. Of course not, you oaf, what will people think if they found your dead body on the grounds and me on the window sill?"

"Er…that you being the son of a death eater pushed me my untimely death?"

"No, stupid, they'll think that we had a suicide pact, you know die together as lovers, together forever and shit like that. But I was too scared to go through with it, so when you jumped, I stayed, letting you die alone. Which will make you out as some sort _hero_ AGAIN. And that I'm a COWARD! Not to mention GAY!"

Harry raised his eyebrows and chuckled, "Boy Malfoy, you sure put a lot of thought into it. Bit too melodramatic for my taste though."

Draco narrowed his eyes as a faint blush of embarrassment coloured his cheeks.

"Whatever, Potter, at least it had more originality than your idea," he sneered, "Anyway, I'm still going first."

"No you're not. I am."

"I am!"

"No, I am!"

"I AM!"

"God, Malfoy why do you have to always make it a competition! It's about who dies first for god's sake!"

"Well, if you're so mature, let me go first."

"No! I was here first!"

"Right, Potter, sooo mature."

Harry gritted his teeth in annoyance. He felt like he was talking to a little child, who, however adorable they may look, was incredibly annoying and tiring.

"Well I'm sorry, Malfoy," he said, sounding anything but sorry, "I can't let you go first."

He gave a half-smile and pushed Draco off the ledge…into the corridor. Shocked as he was, Draco instinctively grabbed hold of the first thing that came to his grasp, which just happened to be the buckle of Harry's belt.

Harry found himself being thrust forwards towards the corridor floor with Malfoy. Landing heavily on the paler boy, Harry moaned as pain erupted from his hands which were raw from being slammed against the floor.

Draco could feel the cold stone floor beneath him and the warmth of the body on top of him. He could hear Potter moan groggily and vaguely hoped that he hadn't hurt the boy too much, after all Draco had been grabbed in that area before and believe me it was pretty painful. Then he remember what just happened and didn't care at all whether Potter was in pain or not. This was the second time he had been denied this! Thinking of this, Draco remembered his father and gave a small groan.

Hearing this soft whisper of noise, Harry moved slowly and straightened his back, taking stock of their position.

He was bent over Malfoy's hips, straddling him, and his hands now rested on the boy's stomach. Whilst one of Malfoy's hands was massaging his head, the other was still firmly curled around Harry's belt.

"Erm, Malfoy?" Harry asked tentatively. Malfoy moaned in response. Knowing full well how this would've seemed to an onlooker, Harry asked reluctantly,

"What's the matter?"

Malfoy pouted, glaring at Harry's emerald eyes which blinked behind his glasses.

"I hit my head, you doofus!" Malfoy retorted angrily, pouting even more. Daresay he was doing it unconsciously.

Sighing, Harry leaned forward.

"Whereabouts?" he asked.

"Here," replied the Slytherin pointing at an obscured part of his head.

"C'mere then!" Harry signalled for Malfoy to lift his head up so Harry could hold down the bump which had slowly begun to swell.

"WHAT!" exclaimed Malfoy, "and get Gryffindor germs all over my head? Are you…oww…"

Harry had made a lunge for Malfoy's head and Malfoy had jerked his head back hitting on the ground.

"Owww!" the blonde cried angrily again, "Look what you made me do, Potter!"

Tears sprung in Draco's eyes as the pain greatened.

_Damn_, he thought, _this is the last thing I need._

Above him, Draco could hear Potter sighing irritably then felt a rough pull jerk him almost upright into Potter's embrace.

"Potter, what the hell!" he started but shut his mouth quickly as Potter's cool hand soothed the pain at the back of his head.

_Damn, damn, damn! _thought Draco, _why does this have to be Potter_, _of all people! Why couldn't this be some hot girl with massive boobs to cuddle?_

Because girls like that can't mother properly.

_True, their boobs will probably smother me to death. So why couldn't this be my mother then!_

Instead here he was in _Potter's_ arms, feeling more than slightly awkward, even though Potter's body did feel quite nice pressed against his…omg…

It was pressed against his…

If, at this moment, we chose to have a peek at inside Draco's mind, this would have been what we saw.

Panic being a gibbering wreck.

Lust on overdrive, having something like a fit.

Logic commenting dryly that he does that a lot.

Super ego agreeing smugly.

And of course, we'll most definitely see Vanity looking pained and fluttering his lashes saying,

"Well, darling, I think we're in a ghaaaastly situ here. I mean, this cloak was new and not very cheap either!"

Anyway let's get back. Which was where?

Oh yes, in Potter's arms. Damn.

Whilst all this went on, Draco had gone into a cold sweat even though it was so warm. Actually, if Draco was to be nitpicky (which he most definitely was) it was his right hand that was especially warm. Odd why would that be?

Draco looked down and quickly withdrew his hand from where it had perched, on Potter's boxer waistband. Draco blushed awkwardly. Then, as though in slow motion, through the gap between Potter's arms, he could see the doors of the Great Hall opening as breakfast ended. Panicking, Draco tried to jump up out of Potter's hug but forgot that Potter had him straddled.

THONK came the inevitable.

Draco found himself flat on his back again, Potter being forced by the pull on his arms to lean forward over him, and with a thumping headache. With his vision covered in stars, he couldn't see the hoards of students pouring out of the doors, therefore moaned in pain.

LOUDLY

Harry, on the other hand, could see perfectly well. He blushed and stammered at the crowds. Draco meanwhile had finally realised what the giggles and whisperings were about and had opened his mouth to say something hopefully witty to explain when…

"It's not what you think! We're not making out!"

Silence rang through the halls of Hogwarts. Draco looked at Harry in morbid horror.

The silence was broken by the united voices of girls going,

"AAAWWWWWWWWW!"

**

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Um, hello, hope you enjoyed this chap. Poor Harry and Draco, they have been caught in a bad position yet again.**

**I know this may be kinda confusing or whatever, so sorry. Feel free to comment!**


	6. Vanilla Apples

**Disclaimer**--- I own the world, muhahahahahah! in my dreams... everything belongs to J.K.Rowling although i tend to steal Draco now and then...**  
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**A/N---Hello! This is co-writer Natalie/Fairyoftheunderworld! I'd like to thank all those of you who have reviewed it's such a nice feeling to read the reviwes thank you so much! Sorry if i havent replied to you all, just I've forgotten who I've replied to... eheheh... This is the first chapter that PenguinsofDoom actually wrote. I wrote the other ones and she edited and typed so now i have the privilege of typing and editing this one, basically because Penguins keeps getting banned from the computer. And before you say anything about not updating fast enough, we have exams so we have an excuse! Nya! sticks tongue out Oh and by the way, if you enjoy this story, check out 'Baldimort and the Three Hairs', i know it isn't really slash or anything, but it's really funny and unfortunately doesn't have any of the usual keywords, you guys put in your searches so not many people get to it. So here i am plugging it for my friends. GO AMI AND HOLLY! WHOO HOO!**

**Anyway thanks for reading, i shall attempt to get Draco and Harry in for an interview on my next post. On with the story... **

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Chapter 6---Vanilla Apples

Malfoy was scared. Really scared. For the past two days he had been hounded, stalked and pounced on by literally hundreds of cooing girls. In any other circumstance he would have relished it, making use of his situation in every possible way. But not when they wanted him to do…that.

Draco had been chased around the school, in and out of hidden staircases, ducking behind portraits and creeping around the library had now become a regular occurrence. Running around the corridors, the cry of "Kiss him! Kiss him!" still ringing in his ears. By now there were very few untouched hiding places left.

* * *

Harry had fared little better. Being more used to attention like this than Malfoy, he was slightly less taken aback with the commotion and ruckus the girls kicked up. However, he wasn't prepared for the overwhelming masses of girls that tailed him wherever he went, whether it was to his next class or to the toilets… They waited for him after class, launching ambush after ambush at him after every meal, and jumped out from corners. Like Malfoy, Harry had taken to hiding, though none of his hideouts lasted for long. The girls seemed to have suddenly developed a sniffer dog sense of smell so even with the invisibility clock and marauders map he only just narrowly escaped their crazed clutches. He could only imagine what they would do if they caught him. Correction. What they would make him do. Harry shuddered. This was all bloody Malfoy's fault.

He crept cautiously along the deserted hallway heading for the Gryffindor Tower. Please, please let me make it, he prayed, just down the corridor, down the stairs, along the stairway, down another set of stairs, another corridor… A high pitched squeal shattered his prayer and his hopes. No he wasn't going to make it. He bolted down the corridor, while frantically looking for a place to hide. Come on, there's got to be somewhere, he thought frantically, a broom cupboard? Anywhere?

Miraculously, and to Harry's great relief he found a handy broom cupboard, concealed in the wall, and it wasn't locked. However, not two seconds after he had shut the door behind him, it swung back open again. Harry's eyes widened as Draco Malfoy flung himself in, slamming the door behind him. Both of them held their breath while the girls thundered past the door, then both let a sign escape through clenched teeth as the rabble faded away. Then there was silence, this silence carried on for another minute until Harry realised that Malfoy hadn't noticed him. He coughed. Malfoy spun round, shock etched on his face when he saw Harry.

"Potter! What the heck are you doing here!" he spluttered uncharacteristically. Harry raised an eyebrow. Great. Of all the broom cupboards Malfoy could have hidden in, he had to hide in this one.

"Hiding. Same as you I suspect." Malfoy sniffed. Stupid Potter, always in the wrong places and the wrong times. He glanced at his surroundings, taking in the small space, cluttered boxes and the close proximity of Potter's body to his own. He really didn't want to be this close to Potter with what happened a few days ago. He really didn't want to.

"That's wonderful, Potter" Draco drawled, "but as you can see there isn't room for both of us here. I think you should get out".

Harry glared.

"I was here first".

"True, but I value my life much more then yours."

"Look Malfoy, I'm not going back out there, they're like a pack of wolves! And as much as I hate you, I'm not going to throw you out. There's enough space for both of us."

Draco rolled his eyes in annoyance,

"Spoken like a true idiotic Gryffindor. Or…" he narrowed his eyes, "like a Slytherin who wants to keep me here for his own amusement."

Harry reddened furiously and exclaimed "What are you implying? That I'm trying to trick you into staying with me so I can try …something?"

"That's exactly what I'm implying," Draco smirked, joyfully watching Harry's now even redder face contort in disgust.

"Why, you're the one who started this whole thing, groping me like that!"

Now it was Draco's turn to blush. "I didn't _grope_ you, I fell!" he protested.

"Yeah, you fell, what, three times? If there's anybody here with those kind of intentions it's you, Malfoy!" retorted Harry.

"You're the one who held my hand!"

"You jumped into my arms!"

"I never asked to be caught, Potter!"

"So, what, you'd rather you fell flat on your slimy arse!"

"If you care to remember I did that anyway, when you kindly dropped me. Oh and you went on top of me-"

"You pulled me on top of you!"

"-then you HAD to say 'we're not making out!' putting ideas into their he-" Malfoy's words were cut short by Harry's hand clamped over his mouth suddenly. Putting a finger on his lips, Harry pointed with his other hand, at the door. The sound of girls came from outside. Most of the noise was giggling but Malfoy managed to catch snippets of terrifying conversation.

"Where can they be?"

"We'll soon find them. Oh and when we do…"

"They are so gorgeous!"

"It's so sweet!"

And so the voices carried on until they couldn't be heard. The boys relaxed a little.   
"What?" said Draco to a mumbling Harry.

"I said, why is it that they are so excited about us? I mean the thought of us together," Harry quickly added, before Malfoy got the wrong idea.

The blond boy frowned. "Probably the thought of two hot guys going at each other turns them on." Harry looked at him strangely. Brows furrowed, cocking his head to one side he asked;

"Did you just compliment me, Malfoy?" Draco gave him a withering look. Really how could Potter be so incredibly stupid and defeat the Dark Lord on countless occasions. Maybe because the Dark Lord was a crazy and obsessive psychopath with very little common sense…yeah, there was a point.

"I'm merely stating a fact, Potter, don't get me wrong." He said with disdain. "It's a well known fact that you're one of the most eligible bachelors in the school. Known," he added, catching sight of the bewildered look on Harry's face, "to all, but you, it seems."

Yes, Potter, as well as being incredibly thick at times, was also incredibly hot, especially now when the soft glow of light from the magic lantern. His sparkling emerald eyes, made him even more beautiful and his smooth tanned skin, made him look even more golden. Not that Draco was checking him out (again) or anything, he just appreciated beautiful things. Yes that's right, that excuse will work for the other times too…

Draco elegantly raised an eyebrow. "I still can't believe you're a virgin, Potter. I mean you've girls and boys throwing themselves at you…Potter?" He looked up suddenly, "Are you a nun?"

Harry stuck up his middle finger at him. Arrogant prick, probably doesn't even know what a nun is.

"No Malfoy, I'm not a nun. I just don't pay for call girls, like some people…"

"What!" he choked and gawked at Harry disbelievingly. "I, I, I've never done that!"

The Gryffindor smirked.

"Sure you didn't," he said mockingly.

"What! That was once! It was a party! It was Blaise's idea! We were young!" God he was babbling.

"What…young as in…say, last year?"

"Shut up"

Harry rocked back and forth laughing. This was the funniest thing he'd heard all year!

"So the great Draco Malfoy, the Ice Prince of Slytherin, had to pay call girls to get him laid! This is hilarious!"

"Shut up! We were just experimenting, and anyway, it's not like I can't get it otherwise. Girls flock to me, to name a few: Pansy Parkinson, Marietta Edgecombe (why else would she have betrayed you?), Padma Patil, Hannah Abbott, Many Brocklehurst, a handful of Beauxbatons people, Daphne Greengrass, Sally-Anne Perks-"

"Okay, I get the point man-whore," Harry muttered. He would never have admitted this to Malfoy, but he was kind of disturbed (and jealous) by how much experience the Slytherin had in comparison to his own pitiful kiss with Cho. Maybe Malfoy was right, he should just go out with some girl who was particularly begging for him. But he didn't want to lose his virginity to her. Damn his noble Gryffindor heart! So with boys it's alright then, said a little voice inside his head and was immediately squashed by a volley of arrows, preferably with armed doxies riding on them.

There was a strange sort of silent truce between him and Malfoy at the moment, neither of them had said anything hugely offensive or hexed each other and were having a civil(ish) conversation. This was something that had never happened since their first meeting in Madam Malkins six years ago. Harry knew it was only the fear of being caught which forced them to, but it was a nice change all the same. Just as it was to see Malfoy all flustered like that, Harry chuckled slightly, he looked almost, dare he say it, cute, with a little colour tinged on his pale cheeks and a pout on his usually sneering lips.

Harry wondered how long they had actually been in here. Quite long, long enough for the danger to pass. It's time he should get going, his friends might get worried, well, Hermione anyway, that he had been caught. He voiced his proposal to Malfoy who immediately agreed. Malfoy, being closer to the door, tried to open it. Tried being the operative word.

"Damn! It's locked!" he cried twisting the door knob again. Draco swore loudly. This could not be happening! He slammed his other hand onto the frame.

"Holy mother of crap, you've got to be joking!" Harry groaned, "Move over, let me have a go." Draco turned slightly to let Harry through when Harry stumbled over one of the boxes on the floor. The boy-who-lived crashed into Draco, pinning him to the wall behind him. Draco gave a sharp intake of breath. Potter's right leg had inserted itself between his own legs and as Draco was leaning backwards, Potter's thigh ended up pushing against his crotch area. Hard.

"Potter" he said, his voice an octave higher than usual, "Kindly remove your leg from between mine!"

"Why?" scowled Harry, who had enough to deal with. Because of the crash, a large shelf had fallen and was now dangerously balanced between the small of Harry's back and another rickety shelf so that any movement could bring the whole lot down on them. "Am I hurting you?"

"You could say that!"

"Well I can't! If I move, the whole pl-"

"JUST DO IT!"

Harry, against his better judgement, shifted his leg. Almost immediately, the shelves came tumbling down. Harry's leg was forced back into its original position and both boys were pushed to the floor. The lantern swayed furiously, and the cupboard was instantly enveloped by momentary darkness.

When everything was still and the magic lantern began emitting a faint golden light once again, Harry opened his eyes. He groaned. He would've been lying face down on the floor if it weren't for the boy sandwiched in between. Oh why did these things keep happening to him? He was sure he had done nothing to deserve it. He craned his neck to see their surrounding and found there were several shelves perched above them, giving them little more than 10 inches space to breathe and prop himself up onto his elbows. Boxes were scattered all around them, the only clear space was where they were lying. 'I can't roll off!' thought Harry disconsolately, 'maybe if I moved like…' Harry attempted to twist off Malfoy which only resulted in putting himself in a more uncomfortable position. Malfoy made an odd noise that sounded suspiciously like a squeak.

"Potter! Your knee is in my private area!" he gasped as the offending knee continued to grind into him. "It hurts even more now!"

There was a pause.

"Can't you move it?" Malfoy whined, his face still showing the pain he was in. He looked up to see Potter's face break into a mischievous grin.

"Only if you say please."

"What! Don't be so childish, Potter… Fine, FINE!" he pouted, "PLEASE. There you go, are you happy now?" Harry laughed, he had just made Draco Malfoy say please!

"Very well, " he said as he slowly straightened his leg careful not to hit anything and moved it to the other side of Draco's leg. Draco sighed loudly with relief which Harry found oddly arousing especially when he could feel it vibrating from Malfoy's throat and blown over his neck. This feeling made Harry very aware of what sort of position they were in. Face to face, chest to chest, er…private area to private area. Harry's legs were straddled around Malfoy's hips. He blushed. Damn his growth spurt (during the summer Harry grew! sob I'm so proud!), if it wasn't for that, his crotch would be somewhere on Malfoy's thighs. Damn himself for being the same height as Malfoy.

Underneath him, Draco was having very similar thoughts. By Gods…what sort of position were they in! Like they were having- NO! Don't think about having sex with Potter, no! Get out mental images! It's utterly disgusting! Actually it's only morally disgusting, seeing as you hate him and he's your enemy but for wanton sex-wise, it's the opposite, seeing as he's got delicious looking-No! Shut up! Draco grimaced. He hated the little voices in his head. At least the door's locked so nobody will catch them like this. But what if it was only locked from the inside? Dammit! Draco flushed and realised he had much more pressing matter, such as keeping his bodily reaction under control.

Harry felt himself being drawn towards the scent of vanilla. Mmm…Vanilla, he'd always liked vanilla, so musky, exotic and sensual… In a dream like trance he unpropped his elbows so that his chest pressed firmly onto the other boy, unknowingly moving his face closer and closer to Malfoy's neck. Draco felt Potter lean towards him and smelt the fresh scent of apples. He closed his eyes and basked in it, basking in oh so sweet apples which spoke of clear summer skies and hidden promises. He moved his head back to expose his pale neck for Harry's touch. It never came.

Draco's eyes flew open. He was face to face with Potter, so close their noses were almost touching, whose expression mirrored his own. It said only too plainly; "WTF was I just about to do?" Harry's thoughts tried to make sense of what had just occurred without really helping of course.

These private voices staged a conference.

"Oh my God! Omg, omg, omg, omg… Did I just nearly do what I think I nearly did?" said one

"Uh-huh… and you can see why, look at the pretty pink lips of his. So _very_ kissable…" said another, a very much hornier one.

"Nooo! We can't think like that, it's not as if we're gay or anything. Or are we? No, no we've fancied Cho and she's a girl so no!"

"Whatever, say that to your heart; it's beating like crazy and I can feel your blood rushing…somewhere…"

"Oh crap, think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts-"

"Yeah, don't imagine the two of you NAKED in this position!"

"-UNSEXY! UNSEXY!"

Draco felt his heart flutter and his blood rush towards his groin when he watched Harry bite his lower lip in concentration. Gods, that is so sexy, he thought, no, I mean, no. Wait did I just say Gods? Do I even believe in God? Think of …erm… bananas! Er…maybe not. Think of…Crabbe and Goyle! Crabbe and Goyle dancing, ha that's funny. Crabbe and Goyle wearing tutus. Crabbe and Goyle naked and making out? Nooo! Mental images! That's so disgusting; I think I'm going to throw up.

Harry was pulled out of his frenzied thinking by the sight of Draco looking slightly ill.

"Don't you dare throw up Malfoy! It'll go all over my face! Wait," he added as an evil glint appeared in Malfoy's eyes, "don't 'coz it'll drip from my face to yours."

"Eww, from your face!"

"It would be _your_ sick."

"Yes but it'll have Potter germs all over it"

"You are _so_ childish."

The two boys relaxed. Both of them found the other far less sexy when they talked. Harry propped himself back onto his elbows again.

"We need to get out of here," he said.

"I couldn't agree more, but how?"

Harry frowned. "We can't just get up cause of the shelves and we can't roll off cause of the boxes."

"Using your great powers of observation again, Potter," Draco drawled sarcastically. "Can't we levitate them off?"

Harry's face brightened. "Great, but I can't reach my wand. Can you use yours?"

"I can't reach mine either."

"Damn!" Harry shouted, frustrated. "Okay, can you get mine, I think it might by in my back pocket."

"But I can't see to your back pocket!"

"You'll just have to feel your way then," sighed Harry, blushing slightly as he thought of Draco's hands feeling their way down his back.

"That means I'll have to touch your arse!" cried Draco horrified.

"Malfoy…"

"Fine, fine, I'll do it." Tentatively putting his hands onto Potter's back, Draco patted his way down it. So light was his touch that Harry only felt the hands ghost over him, but it was still enough to send shivers down his spine. He held his breath when the hand came to his bum. They hesitated a little until the hands appeared to make up their mind and continued patting, barely touching at first, but getting harder and faster; more like grabbing.

"Malfoy!" Harry gasped.

"I can't feel it! It's not here!" cried Draco frantically trying not to think of the taut well shaped buttocks he had just felt. "It must have fallen out!"

"What?" Harry muttered, "Oh great. I let you touch my butt for nothing."

"_Let_ me?" spat Draco indignantly, "_Made_ me more like. I bet you enjoyed it as well!"

"Shut up, I didn't. You don't know how embarrassing that was for me!"

"For you! I'm the one who had to do the touching!"

"Hmpf."

Nether talked for a minute, letting silence reign over the cupboard. It was Harry who broke it, asking quietly, "What about your wand?"

"In my back pocket," Draco's eyes widened in rekindled hope, "you can get it, seeing as I can't reach it." Harry shook his head in protest. Malfoy rolled his eyes. Here's Potter saying_ he_ was childish.

"Hey I had to touch your arse! Let's say this makes us even."

"Do you want me to touch you or something, to get me back?" said Harry narrowing his eyes in disinterest. This wouldn't be the first time Malfoy stooped that low. Draco tutted in annoyance. "I want you to get off me so I can get out of this hell hole and seeing as we need a wand for that, I'm planning to do anything to get one."

"You sound a lot more confident then before."

"Yeah well you tend to overcome most of your fears after you've touched your enemy's arse."

"Very funny," commented Harry as he tried to slide his hand underneath Draco. "Hey can you lift your back of something so I can get my hand through."

Draco arched his back pushing his chest against Harry's. "Like this?"

"Uh-huh," was all Harry was able to gulp in response. He felt every breath of the boy under him, making his pulse race. The scent of vanilla almost intoxicated him again. Don't be stupid he told himself silently, this is Malfoy, and he mentally braced himself as he lent forward to put his hand under.

Draco's breath quickened as Harry had to place his head beside Draco's, his face pressed against Draco's collar bone area, in order to stretch all the way to Draco's back pocket. The smell of apples once again drifted into his nose again. Harry's soft breathing made his skin tingle not unpleasantly. He rested his chin on Harry's shoulders and repressed a sigh of pleasure as Harry's strong nimble seeker fingers felt their way down his back.

"Malfoy?"

"Mmm?"

"Your…erm…butt is still on the floor."

It took a couple of seconds for Draco to understand what he was talking about. To be honest he was more preoccupied with the sensation of Harry soft lips brushing against the base of his neck. He raised his bum off the floor, placing a very unwanted pressure on both of them. Draco gritted his teeth. He was not going to get turned on by Potter's hand gently feeling his bum. No, no, no definitely not when they were like this. Potter would feel it! Stupid Potter, why doesn't _he_ get turned on when he was lying on top of one of the hottest guys in the school, feeling him up? Bloody hell, Potter was right, being felt up was more embarrassing.

Harry, however, now begged to differ. Malfoy's arse was tight and nicely shaped and… HAD NO WAND!

"No, please Potter, don't tell me it's not there," said the boy underneath desperately, "no, not when I had to endure torture!"

Draco collapsed back into his original position . Harry felt a little relief, alongside his despair. When the pressure on his groin had faded a little he had pulled his hands out and sighed. He decided that when he died he was going to beat God with a baseball bat for all the terrible things he had done to him, but especially this.

"Potter, check my front pocket, or yours. I feel something hard poking into me there."

Harry felt the blood drain from his face. No it couldn't be, could it? He would have known. He checked.

"Malfoy," he said irately, looking him in the face, "you're going crazy, that's my hipbone."

The blonde pouted. "Do you blame me? We've been like this for hours, with no hope of getting out!"

"I could hardly say hours," muttered Harry, cursing himself for being so dependent on his wand. If only he could do wandless magic or he could control his wand without needing to hold it. Harry had an idea.

"Lumos!" he suddenly shouted, clearly. Draco stared at him

"Potter what are you doing? And you said _I_ was crazy?"

"Shut up and look for a light!" Harry fervently hoped he had enough power. Draco gave one distasteful glare and peered around, limited in his vision range as he was. And gasped.

"Potter, there's a light behind you, look there! Between our legs!" he babbled excitedly. Harry stared at Malfoy, he'd never seen the boy like this. "I think I can reach it," Draco carried on, a stupid grin plastered on his face.

In his happiness, Draco rashly threw his arms between their legs and grabbed something.

"Ah ha! Gotcha-Unh!"

Without warning Harry suddenly thrust his hips toward Draco with all the might he could muster. Caught by surprise, Malfoy made an instinctive sound, and barely managed to stifle a moan of ecstasy as pleasure rushed through his body, but he couldn't help letting out a whimper.

"Malfoy…" whispered Harry as a few seconds, "did you just whimper!"

Draco glowered at him, "What the hell Potter! You just pushed your hips into me! What did you want me to do, howl?"

Blushing, Harry defended himself. "I'm sorry, but it's just you took me by surprise and-"

"_I_ took you surprise!"

"Yes you did! If you hadn't noticed, you grabbed my…bollocks, and pushing my hips away, happens to be an instinctive reaction.

"…Oh."

Pause

"So Potter, are your bollocks long, thin and made of wood?" Draco flashed a triumphant grin at and astonished Harry and waggled a wand in front of his eyes. Harry suppressed an urge to hug him.

"You doofus!" he laughed instead. "How the hell did you manage that?" The Slytherin shrugged, still grinning madly, as he levitated the shelves.

Harry jumped up, stretching his arms and legs. Oh God was it good to get up! Draco thought the same as he bent down to pick up his wand and hand the other to Harry. He smiled gratefully and proceeded to unlock the door with a quick 'alohamora' charm. Draco slapped a hand to his face.

"Why didn't we think of that before? It would have saved us a lot of pain!" Harry laughed again and walked out, beckoning to Draco who followed quickly. They blinked a few times to get used to the light. Turning to Draco, Harry held out a hand.

"Thanks for the wand thing and stuff. For that I'll forgive you grabbing my bollocks."

Draco smirked and took it, "It was your idea that saved us, and for that I'll forgive you for thrusting your hips into me," he frowned, "but if you tell anyone that I whimpered I'll take it back."

Harry grinned, and it was returned by a real, genuine, devastating smile that made his heart soar. Thank God Draco didn't smile like that ordinarily, or he would never be able retort quickly enough.

Then, quite suddenly, the scents of vanilla and apples caught them off guard. They quickly turned away from each other to hide their bodies reactions.

"Um, Potter," said Draco in a slightly strained voice. "I think it would be best for both of us if we didn't mention this little…incident to anyone. I mean no-one. It won't really help our situation anyway and I'd rather forget about it."

"Yes I totally agree. No-one." Replied Harry shakily.

"Well um bye, see you later."

"Mmm…bye"

After their mumbled good byes, the arch rivals rushed away in opposite directions to find the nearest empty classroom to relieve themselves in.

**A/N--- So? what do you think? Review please? **


	7. Civil conversations, and broken ribs

**Hello again, It's me Natalie! I'm sorry to all those who didn't review because something big and thick and chunkylike will come to SMITE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...**

**I'm also sorry that some people have found errors in punctuation, spelling and tenses...Very sorry, as Nina usually writes and I edit, the fault lies with meeeeeeeeee...I'm sorry ..bursts into tears **

_**Draco: There there, don't cry... i don't have a tissue...**_

**Natalie: oh yes, this is my guest, i believe i said he would be around...? ANYONE remember? well anyway theres a few questions i'd like to pose to you Mr.Malfoy...?**

**Draco: My pleasure...**

**N: What is your full name?**

_**Draco: Draco Lucifer Caspair (Ximena forte del'ai) Malfoy**_

**N: (the ximena bit...an inside joke. sorry refers to my sister only) and when were you born?**

_**D: On the 19th of November 19...(A/N substitute anything you want here)**_

**N: And if you were a girl for the day?**

_**D: WHAT the...? erm... ...-...- pass**_

**N: well...if anyone has any idea (unusual ideas) of what they'd do if they were of the opposite sex for the day tell me! and i want no smut! If you've gotta do smut, make it tasteful! And...anymore question you think it would be funny to see Mr. Malfoy here answer.**

_**D: Hey what am i? a toy?**_

**

* * *

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**N: now passing on, on with the story, it's very short, sorry, but i'll be updating quickly again i hope those of you who reviewed, im really sorry i can't mention you all, but a huge thanks to you all, you got me typing again and even thanks to those who made me edit this one reeeeeeeeeeeallly carefully, no hard feelings and i know what you mean abou the flowthing...**

**If there's a editing problem im gonna scream**

**Disclaimer: i don't own anything except maybe a lock of Draco's hair ... **

**D: Hey! You cut my hair! Nicks lock back and tries vainly to stick it back on-doesn't work**

**NOW, i don't own anything...wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...**

* * *

Civilness, and yes I know that's not a word.

The whole business of the school's rather unhealthy interest of the nonexistent 'goings ons' between Harry and Draco died down in another two weeks. During that time, Harry pointedly ignored the blonde and Draco returned the favour. With an unspoken agreement, they sat in opposite ends in the class, as far away from each other as possible in at dinner and walked on the different sides of the corridor. Yes, they were deeply freaked out at what happened with, they dubbed, 'the Broom Cupboard Incident' and had only just endured the obsessive stalking and the crude comments by resorting to eye twitching (Draco) and smashing up stuff (Harry).

Harry could no get over the fact that he had gotten off on _Malfoy_. I mean, Malfoy? After a lot of thought and nail biting and smashing up stuff, Harry came to the conclusion that it was… alright, he may have gotten off on his conceited ferret faced prat of a rival, but everything was going to be OK. He bought it down to the fact that he was in a confined space (yeah you can say _that_ again) for a long period of time with the most promiscuous boy in the school. Naturally _something_ was bound to happen if you're stuck in a situation like that.

Meanwhile, Draco, between eye twitching sporadically at the memory, had come to the same conclusion. Of course, the 'most promiscuous boy' was replaced by 'The-Boy-Who-Lived' and that name was an excuse in itself.

And so, when at last the bulk of interest in them had faded away, the boys relaxed a bit. Perhaps it was because of this that this unfortunate meeting happened.

* * *

Glancing at his watch, Draco swore. He had less than five minutes to get to Arithmancy, which so happened to be in the other side of the castle. 

Life sucks.

Grabbing his bag, he ran out of the library and rushed down the stairs. On the last step, he tripped and landed heavily on the cold stone floor.

_Again? _He thought incredulously, _why? Why do I keep on tripping over? I NEVER used to trip over! Maybe it's these shoes, you could never trust Italians but no they're way too nic-_

He swore again as he heard a shatter and opened his bag to find a puddle of purple liquid and a broken glass vial.

"Damn, damn, damn!" he exclaimed angrily but felt slightly relieved that no one had seen his fall.

Alas, a certain red-headed maniac had, along with a certain bespectacled boy. A loud peal of laughter alerted Draco to their presence.

"Oh my God, that was too funny! Malfoy dropped!" cackled Ron.

"Stop laughing!" Draco growled, "There's nothing amusing, Weasley, about breaking a potions ingredient that's worth more than your house!"

"So what if you broke a potions ingredient? I think I broke a rib laughing!" scoffed Ron, holding his sides, amazingly ignoring the comment on his house (he had matured! Er, maybe not).

"Shut up; Weasel, just because you have no other excitement in your life apart from watching my beautiful self hit the floor doesn-."

He locked eyes with Potter.

Shit.

Draco blushed and shut his mouth. A tinge of red slowly spread round Potter's face and he bit his lip nervously. Draco quickly picked up his stuff before rushing away in panic.

Harry, himself, was in the first stages of a panic attack.

"Stop thinking, stop thinking," he commanded himself, and walked on to Herbology, a strange flush gracing his features. "Stop thinking…STOP THINKI…" Harry's brain obliged and he stepped right into the puddle of potions ingredient that pooled on the floor, before skidding over, landing on his front and sliding all the way to the Entrance gates. Ron raised an eyebrow incredulously. "Jeez Harry you're getting as bad as Malfoy!" The gangly figure attempted a cocky walk past Harry, and barely disguised the slip that he too made; Harry barely disguised his laughter.

* * *

The legacy of this meeting had a deeper consequence. Draco now made no attempt to avoid Harry, now he returned to the hobby of so many years. Gryffindor baiting. A remarkably easy sport, made fun by the varying looks of outrage a snide comment could produce. Today however, in light of Draco's 'humiliation-and-degradation-of-those-who-have-a-standard-and-class-by-those-who-themselves-are-stupid-poor-and-have-no-sense-of-decency', as Draco liked to call it, the remarks were inevitably more cutting. However, instead of looking angry and jumping to his friend's defence (or his own for that matter) Ha-Potter looked vaguely hurt by Draco's remarks. 

"Muahahaha," thought Draco, "at last I shall bring him down". Unfortunately, Malfoy's triumph was short lived. At the end of the third lesson, Harry, before leaving the classroom, shot a hurt, yet angry look at Draco before rushing around the corner. At this, the Slytherins jumped around and congratulated him immensely on his final defeat of the Boy-Who-Lived. Draco tried to smile, but had the horrible feeling he hadn't heard the end of it, and when he did, it wasn't going to be pleasant.

Draco was quite right. Harry was steaming by the last lesson of the day, and as soon as Harry had fled the freezing Potions dungeon, he raced up the stairs, hot on the trail of a highly intuitive Draco Malfoy. Malfoy wasn't nearly fast enough. On one of the main corridors of the second floor, Harry caught up with him and pulled the unwilling boy into a secret alcove behind a tapestry.

"What the hell's wrong with you? After...that...I thought we had some sort of unspoken agreement, to be CIVIL Malfoy. CIVIL!"

"gurk...chjow" replied a rather pink looking Draco Malfoy intelligently.

"Why, why...will you never just let me live my life," Harry glared into Malfoy's silver eyes, hurt shining through.

"GURK…CHJOOOOOOOOOOw…"

Harry finally got the hint and released the strangled boy.

"Huk hukcoughs… owwwww… Potter that hurt! Besides, I _was_ civil to you, until you _laughed_ at me!"

Confusion dominated Harry's face.

"When?"

"When I …misplaced my feet…you and weasel bee laughed…"

"Oh then, but I didn't laugh, that was only him." The anger and hurt had disappeared from the Emerald orbs, now a sort of naïve innocence reigned.

"Yes you did" Draco maintained petulantly.

"No I didn't"

"Yes you did"

"No I didn't"

Yes you did"

"No I didn't"

"YES YOU GODDAMN DID!"

There was silence, in which an echo rang out, before a small whimper from a now cowering Harry made Malfoy smirk.

He had done it. He had got one over on Potter. Maybe he should have a party when he got back to the Common Room, yeah that sounded good… A tiny meek voice interrupted his thoughts.

"No I didn't…" Harry whispered nervously.

Draco sighed exasperatedly-now there was no party!

"Okay okay, let's start over. If I'm honest I do want to put this petty rivalry behind us, only it's like force of habit…" He stretched out a slender, small, dainty hand. "I'll try."

Harry was about to clasp the white hand, in a handshake, when someone burst through the tapestries…

* * *

**Thanks again to those who reviewed and asked for another chapter...another to come soon my friends, this was just a filler chapter, the funny one's coming up next...MUHAHAHAHA vanishes into puff of smoke**

**_Draco: Hey? Where'd she go?_ **

**Natalie: I vanished dumbo, that's where i went.----Cya next time! (special thanks to those who reviewed, i cannot say how much you guys cheered me up!) **


	8. It's just a Godamn Cookie!

**Hey I'm back! Thank you so much for all the reviews, especially those of you who answered questions I set last time, This is hopefully the more funny chapter, but thank you to those of you have commented on orignality and laughter, because i love to make people laugh, something i find hard, so thank you! Bows**

**If i haven't replied to your review then i shall do soon (ish) and if anyone has any ideas of who they'd like me to interview next time, please say, or any questions for the next interview (i like doing interviews muhahahaha) or just to say hi, please review.**

**Disclaimer- I own only the cookies. **

Hermione was in a waaaaaaaaay bad mood. Ron was still ignoring her. I mean come on, it just came out- a slip of the tongue… ooh tongue, wait no, stop thinking that this was Ron! She did not want to kiss him—well maybe she did…just a little bit. She sighed, even if she did, Ron would push her away, but it was an accident, couldn't he understand that? They had been having the big conference about muggle views on sex in Muggle studies, and she, Hermione had accidentally mentioned her view that you shouldn't have sex until you meet someone you truly care about, and because naturally Ron was a twat, he had taken it that Hermione cared for the big handsome hunk of a Bulgarian seeker, more that the gangly freckled boy. Which Hermione was beginning to wish was true. Ron was remarkably stupid for some who had the affection of the smartest girl in the year. And he had missed Prefect duty again! Hermione was getting incredibly fed up. Trawling round the corridors, flinging up tapestries in the hope of catching perfect couples and sending them packing, Hermione let her bitter side through. Better out then in, and everyone needs to let out steam. Flinging up one huge tapestry, Hermione pushed her head into the spacious alcove to find none other than… Malfoy and Harry, and it looked like they were…

" Fighting… AGAIN! Why is it the two of you cannot, I repeat cannot leave each other alone. And no, Harry-" She cautioned the boy who had interrupted, "nothing you say will make me change my mind, it's about time someone taught you a lesson!"

Draco winked at her,

"Does this lesson involve whips, by any chance?"

"NO!" Hermione reddened and spluttered indignantly, "I'm taking you to Professor McGonagall," She finished snootily

* * *

"That's…what I meant…" Draco smirked and followed a fuming Hermione to McGonagall's office.

'I am very disappointed in you boys! Can you never agree to stop fighting ?" Professor was in foul temper. Harry and Draco hung their heads in shame… and because Hermione was behind them glowering.

"Miss Granger, that'll do, I can take them from here." Hermione's head snapped up, surprise replacing righteousness. It was obvious she had wanted to see the punishment/.

"But…Professor..?"

"Is there a problem Miss Granger?" McGonagall's lips thinned instantly.

"Er…no…" Squeaked Hermione and fled. McGonagall, snorted somewhat triumphantly.

"Well, back to business, Mr. Potter, Mr. Malfoy, after everything you've been through-" Harry and Draco exchanged stricken glances, did she know about the Broom cupboard incident..? "-I mean the photo business and everything," The professor shot a curious stare at the anxious pair, and saw them visibly relax. She opened her mouth to say more, but a knock at the door silenced her.

Severus Snape stroke in, robes billowing ominously; something was wrong. Draco, Harry and Prof. McGonagall stared in wonder at the person before them. Snape glared back, blushing slightly. Snape's hair was not as thick as usual and reached his collarbone, instead of his shoulders where it usually hung, heavy and lank. Now it gleamed brightly and the wind from the open window fluttered it over his face gently.

"What!" Cut in Snape defensively.

Prof. McGonagall blinked and stopped staring.

"You washed your hair at last you grease freak," said Draco openmouthed awe lilting his voice. Snape blushed further and looked indignant.

"If you weren't so tall, I'd put you across my knee and spank like I did when you were younger." Malfoy blushed crimson and looked down; Harry hid his laughter.

"B-b-but you said you weren't going to wash you hair until she-" Prof. McGonagall started dazedly until a hand was clamped over her mouth.

"Shut up. Don't say that here."

McGonagall complied and Severus sent her a death glare, before sitting down next to the fire. He stretched his back and sighed, his audience looked on expectantly. They sat for another 3 minutes, before they realised no explanation for his presence was forthcoming and got angry.

"Oww, Draco you twit, that hurt" Severus moaned. Draco flung another book at him. Prof. McGonagall was facing an internal battle- should she cheer Mr. Malfoy on, or save Severus? She longed for the first but decided on the latter, but really, he was just so annoying!

"Mr. Malfoy, desist that behavior and have a biscuit." Her trusty biscuit tin was shoved under his nose.

"Erm" Draco commented.

"Go on they're not poisoned." A hand dipped into the biscuit tin, but it wasn't Draco's.

"SEVERUS!"

Draco ignored his Godfather and concentrated on the task in hand- Orange Salamanders or Cream Pixies he wondered.

Harry's mind was asking questions such as; "What the hell is going on?", "What the heck is going on?" and "What the is going on?" and other such related questions.

Prof. McGonagall was seething, he'd taken her favourite toffee biscuit! It was her last one too! She had an urge to smack Severus round the head and have a hissy fit.

Prof. Snape however, was blissfully munching on a toffee cookie and staring into the fire absently.

"Severus, when I'm talking to you, please have the decency to listen," huffed the tight lipped professor.

Prof. Snape snapped out of his reverie and looked in askance at her. Prof. McGonagall sighed and tutted loudly before reminding him that he was sitting in _her_ office, in front of _her_ fire, munching _her_ cookie, and if he had no business here, he was, on no uncertain terms, to clear off.

Snape blink and Harry thought he could see the light bulbs flicker on when Snape remembered the cause of his arrival.

"Ah…yesh…" he started, spraying them all with cookie. He swallowed and coughed. "Ah…yes… Zabini and Parkinson are saying they're gonna start a strip club in one of the dungeons. They asked me to perform and what could I say…?"

All the occupants of the room apart from Snape and a house elf (who looked at Snape with newfound respect) flinched, drew back and looked at him in disgust, and a sort of fascinated curiousity.

"I SAID NO YOU IDIOTS!" Snape roared, and the audience sighed in relief. Snape sighed suddenly. "They're all growing up so fast…" he sniffed.

"Yeah and you're getting worse at spotting jokes…" Draco muttered. "Honestly, did he really think Blaise and Pansy were serious!"

"If you came here just to tell me that! Well…!" Prof. McGonagall drew herself up, and Prof. Snape sniffed again. In a gentler tone, she continued. "It was probably just a joke, you know how they are, let them be…"

Snape didn't seem to take the news well. With a gigantic sniff, he threw himself at Prof. McGonagall and hugged her middle; she patted him head idly making soothing noises and big hysterical sobs came from the man.

"Paaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh heheheheeeeeeeeee…waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh…etc"

Draco was _still_ ignoring his Godfather, and was _still_ selecting a biscuit! God it was so hard!

Harry, having witnesses all of this in some kind of shocked trance, Harry's nose now caught the bitterish scent of firewhisky. Ah…that explained it.

"he's drunk!" Harry exclaimed, happy he finally understood what was going on. Man, Snape was such an emotional drunk…

Malfoy and McGonagall looked at him, ignoring the wailing man for a moment more, with raised eyebrows.

"You have to be the slowest person I know Potter… We realised he was drunk the moment he took one of McGonagall's cookies, he hates them."

"_Professor _McGonagal, Mr. Malfoy"

Turning back to the lump in her arms, Prof McGonagall, flung the door open with an almighty crash, and dragged Severus to the Infirmary to recover. Before leaving, she pushed the biscuit tin at them and informed them that if she wasn't back within 15 minutes, they could go.

The two boys sat in silence listening to random shouts of ouch, hoyah! urg and other various expressions of pain as McGonagall (_Professor _McGonagal) dragged Snape down the stairs. These noises were interspersed with shouts of hhuuumphm God you're heavy, W-W-hat? I'm heaven..? Oh that's nice...,Not _heaven_, HEAVY, How cruel…Wahhh Minerva..YOU DON"T _LOVE_ ME ANYMORE, Oh shut up you old fool Ouch don't kick me!

Draco winced, suddenly feeling sorry for Snape; he got up and shut the door quietly.

On returning to his seat he reacher for a chocolate chip cookie, but another hand got there first… (A/N At this point I'm dying to say, 'It was Snape's' or even better, 'It was Draco's other hand', but then it wouldn't work.)

Harry picked up the huge cookie and broke off a piece and popped it into his mouth. His mouth shut, his eyes closed , savouring it's beautiful taste, crumbs lingering on his lips…

Malfoy sat up straight and glared at the oblivious boy next to him. (A/N For those of you who read manga, you know those little anger signs? Well basically Malfoy has those, 'cept I don't know how to say it). Draco oozed annoyance.

"Potter, that's my cookie."

"No it isn't, it hasn't got your name on it has it?"

Draco pouted and flicked his wand. In glowing pink letters the words 'Draco Malfoy' printed themselves across the cookie.

"Yes it does." Draco looked triumphant. Harry flicked his wrist.

"No, it doesn't." The words vanished to be replaced by emerald green ones, that sparked gently, reading, 'The Sole and Absolute Property of Mr. Harry James Potter".

Not to be outdone, Draco flicked his wrist again and the words disappeared to be relaced by glowing, pink letters that sparkled and shimmered, and occasionally sent out a flurry of pink and silver stars that spelt out his name. Draco smirked.

Harry bit back a laugh, but failed, "Honestly Malfoy, how gay can you get..?"

Malfoy's smile vanished and he flushed, protesting.

"I'm not gay! I may have been with guys once or twice, but it was only and experiment, it didn't mean anything, I mean there's nothing wrong with being gay, just I'm not, I mean how can I be 'coz I prefer guys, I mean girls, slip of the tongue there, I did mean girls… I'm not gay..." Malfoy babbled on.

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much…" said Harry quietly, smiling, before flicking his wand at the cookie.

Instead of deleting Draco's name, two words appeared next to the pink letters. It now read; 'Draco Malfoy sucks cock' Draco spluttered angrily and vanished the sentence, whilst Harry laughed manically.

Silence reigned for a while, before Draco stopped sulking enough to ask, albeit grumpily, "How come my writing is pink and fluffy, and yours is Slytherin-like?"

Harry shrugged, but grinned. Pink suited Malfoy somehow, in fact, a pair of bunny ears and costume (A/N not playboy! Get your mind out of the gutter!) wouldn't be out of place on him right noe. Malfoy was pouting again, but adorably so, kind of like a puppy, aww! Sweet liddle doggie/bunnie! Wait! What was he doing! What's with the adorable bit! He did not just think that… Harry began to panic.

Calm…calm…calm..calmcalmcalmcalmcalm… Nope that wasn't working…stop panicking! To alleviate the overwhelming hysteria that was threatening to engulf him, Harry turned to the only solution. He broke another piece off the fought over cookie and ate it.

"Hey, hey, HEY! That's mine! I told you!" Malfoy stopped sulking in favour of looking outrages. Harry rolled his eyes, before realizing Malfoy's hand was making snatching movements towards his cookie. Grinning sadistically, Harry stood up and dangled the cookie above Malfoy's head. Draco growled and reached for the chocolate chip biscuit. Harry jerked it higher giggling insanely. Malfoy growled again and stretched up, but Harry was just too tall. 'Damnit!' thought the Slytherin, 'When did he get so tall? I swear when we last…' Draco stopped his train of thought there. The train puffed angrily, and tooted, so Draco let it run its natural course. He ended up thinking about the last time he'd been able to compare heights, which was the time of the 'Broom Cupboard Incident'. At this he sat down and gave up the cookie quest. To his surprise, Harry sat down too and broke the remainder of the cookie in half, before handing it to Draco. Malfoy took it, slightly dazed and nibbled at it cautiously.

"Um… why did you do that?" asked Draco warily. Harry shrugged and finished his half.

Malfoy stared long and hard at Harry, then glared at the half cookie in front of him, before carrying on with his nervous munching. A minute later he opened his mouth and began.

"Potter…y'kno about the broom closet thing…?"

"Um…Yeaaaaaaaaaah…?"

"Well I was thinking-"

"YOU! YOU DON"T LOVE ME! YOU DON"T!"

Malfoy sighed, and shut the door on his Godfather screams once more; the door had drifted open whilst they had been 'talking'.

He sat down again and reached for where he had put his half of the cookie. 'Strange, it's not there…' he thought and began to search the desk and floor, before giving over to panic. 'Nooo! It's not there!' He thought desperately; he ducked under the desk and started to hyperventilate.

In his mind, the little people who represented his attributes were going mad. Lust was whimpering pathetically, Panic was screaming and jumping off tables, Disdain was looking down its pointy nose at Draco and reprimanding him.

"Jeez it's just a cookie!"

It's not just any cookie!" screamed Draco silently, and sat up quickly, conveniently forgetting he was under a low desk.

"Oww…" He said feeling the rising bump on the back of his head. Harry looked at him oddly and nibbled the corner of a piece of chocolate chip cookie.

"Hey, waidaminute…" said Draco suspiciously, as realisation dawned on him… "That's MY cookie, isn't it!"

Harry's eyes widened and he shook his head violently through a mouthful of cookie crumbs. Draco narrowed his eyes and advanced on Harry.

"You stole my cookie…!" he accused, eyes bulging manically. Harry shook his head again and backed off quickly, hiding the remains of the cookie behind him. He swallowed too quickly, and coughed,

"No I never! Okay well maybe I did…" He pushed the half eaten half back towards Malfoy as if it would placate it. It seemed to do the trick, but Malfoy considered the peace offering and refused it.

" I don't want anything that's had your mouth on it." He huffed and stared out of the window absently. A minute later, the thought of the soft chocolate melting within the crunchy outer, crumbling into his mouth… 'Damnit… I want that cookie…' Carefully and conspicuously he reached out a slender hand to where the cookie had lain. 'Had' being the operative word. Where was it? A crunching sound alerted him to Harry's presence. His cookie! He'd eaten it! Draco stared at Harry, who shrugged and flung his hands up in defense.

"Hey you said you didn't want it!"

Draco pouted and rattled the tin for a different cookie. Digging around the bottom he struck gold! A Chocolate chip cookie they'd missed! Triumphantly, he withdrew it from the tin, only for it to be taken straight out his hand.

"Ooo…cookie!" said Harry happily, eyeing the cookie that was now in _his_ hand.

"ME COOKIE! MY COOKIE! WANT NOW! COOKIE COOKIE COOKIE! WANT COOKIE!"

Harry gulped but wasn't going to give ion without a fight. Sighing he lifted the cookie above Malfoy's head. Malfoy licked his lips and jumped at it, reminiscent of a dog. Harry bit back a laugh.

"Okay, let's have a toss up, whoever catches it with their teeth first gets it."

Draco slavered in response. Harry took it as a yes.

"Ready, and one two three- GO!" Harry's mouth shot forward, gnashing away for the cookie. Draco dived toward the blur of cookie. Who got it?... It was a close call…

There a small –plop- from the vicinity of their feet. Both boys looked down. There was the cookie, looking pretty on the thick red carpet…right next to a pair of thin black shoes… They looked up, dreading the inevitable sight.

"10 points from Gryffindor and Slytherin" barked Prof. McGonagall "I don't know what you're doing, nor do I want to know. Just get out my sight!" She rubbed her neck and pointed at the door. When he passed the professor, Draco noticed a slightly red-purple mark on the woman's neck and winced. His Godfather could be incredibly forward in his horniness when he was drunk.

Harry left the room. That was weird. Why were they both rubbing their necks?

Oh well… At least he got the cookie.

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**Tell me what you think people! i appreciate all of you individually so i'll try and list my best reviewers! **


	9. Gingers get white beards?

A magical (of course) radio blared loudly over the sound of chattering students. Christmas was coming! Chaos reigned over Gryffindor Tower as everyone struggled to find underwear and steal other people's shampoo. The Christmas holidays started that day and the teachers were dishing out revision to those who were staying behind, so naturally, everyone was packing as fast as they could. The radio that blurted out random carols was just the tip of the iceberg as to how much people were getting into the spirit of things. Nearly Headless Nick was draping ghostly tinsel (well he cant touch real tinsel can he??) over everyone, but even the shudders that racked through people when touched by this maudlin Christmas decoration, couldn't dampen the feelings of happiness that shone around like a beacon of red, gold and green.

Ron was happy because Harry had finally remembered the spell to burst open someone's trunk and used it on Hermione by accident. Hermione was shouting at someone else… bliss… oh and her lacey knickers were to die for as far as Ron was concerned.

Seamus was happy because he and his teddy had had some enlightening conversations.

And Filch was happy because most of the student body was leaving.

Luna was happy too, but thanks to her new fire crab earrings, everyone was too scared to ask why.

Away in the Slytherin Dorms, much the same sort of activity was going on, except the Bloody Baron wasn't trailing tinsel, but Christmas themed bras and panties(The Bloody Baron, like Peeves, can pick up things) on the students milling around beneath him. Draco sighed. There. Finally he was packed.

whee…plop

A Christmas tree themed bra fell onto Draco's head. He glared at the ghost menacingly who tried to look innocent and hide the evidence behind his back (which didn't work because he was see-through).

"Dammit you perv! Stop trying to get me to wear it!"

The Baron pouted. Draco would've growled, he got no respect nowadays, but it was below his station to do such a thing.

"But it would look good on you! All you need are some boobies…?"

"rrg… I'm not a girl dammit!!!!!!!!!" exclaimed Draco indignantly looking at the ghost with some distaste, " Its not even a good colour for me anyway…"

"Prove you're a man then!"

"What! How do you… hey! Stop that! No! Give me my trousers back!!! No! Blaise! Nott! Help! Anyone!"

Draco was …err… saved by Peeves floating through the wall.

"Ooh, ickle Malfoy's got his pwetty panties in a twist! Everyone come and look!" he shouted down the stairs. The sound of thundering feet was heard. Draco gulped.

"Peeves please!" far be it in his nature to beg and plead, desperate times call for desperate measures, but the trousers had been flung aside as the Bloody Baron saw Peeves and winked seductively.

"Ah your Bloodiness..." Peeves started blushing "I... err… require _your help_ with a more _hands on_ approach to err… a little _problem_…" The Baron rubbed his hands together eagerly and mimed squeezing something. Peeves gulped slightly. Draco puked.

Meanwhile in the corridor…

"Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat, please put a sickle in the old man's hat, if you haven't got a sickle then a knut will do, if you haven't got a knut then Merlin bless you!" sang Fred, hopping about and jingling a money bag infront of George. George was sitting on the floor, the picture of perfect dejection. He should have known not to trust his twin with a sweet… He should have known anyway! He invented them! George stroked his long long long white beard, looking at the razor lying on the floor with a hopeless hatred. He had long given up trying to shave it off, it just got longer and he couldn't remember how to get rid of it! Evidently Fred could, from the way he was vanishing the beards that occurred when people doubted the effectiveness of a genuine Weasley beard.

"Hair-implanting sweets! 1 sickle, 1 knut for a bag! Shouted Fred to the gathering crowd. "Angelina, my dear girl! Care for a toffee?"

"Nice try Fred but I know your game!"

"Damn," said Fred

"Where's George?"

"Over there" Fred pointed mercilessly at George, who was crouched in the shadows trying to sneak away.

"…Oh my..."

"Yes, quite a fine specimen, isn't it?"

"So white!"

"So pure" said Fred snickering, "just like Daz…whiter than white"

"I never knew people with ginger hair got white beards"

"They don't," George groaned.

"Shame about the red face hm George, " grinned Fred, "makes you look like a drunk-"

"FATHER CHRISTMAS!" screamed Angelina in hysterics.

George had to laugh too, he must have looked a sight, but before he knew it, he was hoisted up onto Angelina and Fred's shoulders and paraded around the giggling students. George didn't mind anymore, I mean, now he had a good view down Angelina's top… no… wait! Don't do that! Angelina yanked up her top and smiled innocently at the glowering twins.

Ron, from around the corner, groaned…he wished they would just move out the way! Hermione was coming and they were still prancing around underneath that sprig of mistletoe! There was nothing for it…

whhhhhpppp…eeee.shuddd..crash…bonkbonkbonk…

Ron slid round the corner to position himself in the middle of the corridor, facing Hermione, bright scarlet in colour. Unfortunately he hit a suit of armour, which lost its leg, which went into Angelina's knee, which sent her flying forwards, George landing smack on top of her. Fred got shoved down the stairs.

"oops." Thought Ron, but before he could check everyone was alright Hermione was there, her big brown eyes looking into his before…

On the floor to Ron's left, George looked at Angelina, and Angelina looked at George. George threw all caution to the wind and kissed her… to his surprise…she kissed back! Beard or not it was a good kiss.

"It's alright! I'm okay!" Fred emerged from the stairs. The couples ignored him in favour of playing tongue tennis. "How nice" shuddered Fred and crept away, but finally George had got Angelina.

From the corner where she watched, the girl smiled…everything was going according to plan…then she sighed… the things she did for her friends.


	10. Pink Afroes and Poopy Smell

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**Hola mis amigos! Como estas! and morning morning to everyone else... cept its not morning of course but hey who cares! my birthday on friday! Tardis cake! woohoo! anyway... down to business... thank you so much for all the reviews... but im not fond of criticism... i understand that i should except it but... hey im being honest... try and phrase you criticism nicely... pweaseeeeeeee? I've killed off draco ONLY KIDDING! phew but here's the story... **

**Disclaimer- I didnt disclaim for the last one, so i disclaim now disclaims I don't own anything... except merchandise hee hee...i want to make my own merchandise! oh and... anyone like those official hp t-shirts that say things like 'mudblood..' and 'muggle' and ' i solemnly swear i'm up to no good'..? i love those! anyway I've finished my curly wurly tangent (russell howard! don't own him either...damn.)**

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As the last of the luggage disappeared through the school's massive front doors (floating of course…this is a magic school after all). The students milled about saying goodbye, doing homework and being chased round a common room in the case of one Draco Malfoy. 

"Honestly Professor! I didn't mean it! It wasn't for you!"

Professor Snape merely growled in response and reached for Draco's throat.

"Ah… umm Professor! I'm sorry!!!" wailed Draco as he sprinted behind a pitifully small sofa, amid howls of laughter.

"Change it back boy!" Snape thundered, finally catching a stricken Draco.

"But …I c-can't Sir…" stuttered Malfoy, "I don't know how to…"

"YOU LIE!" Snape towered menacingly over the blonde boy, however the effect was somewhat spoiled by the fact that Snape's usual lank black greasy locks were pink and fluffy and afro-ed.

Draco couldn't hold back a laugh any longer and doubled over in fits.

Snape's face contorted. Never had he been more humiliated in his life. He'd walked right into one of Hogwarts infamous booby traps (set up by bored students), and not only that! Set up by one of his own house! One Draco Malfoy to be precise… speaking of Draco Malfoy…

Snape whipped out his wand (no not that one) and muttered something. The Slytherin Common Room burst into more giggles as Draco felt something like an egg being whipped on his head.

No…no... he hadn't… he couldn't have… Draco eyes widened as he put a hand to his head. Something unlike his smooth silky locks… something curly frizzy and BIG.

"HOLY …!!!!!!!" Draco ran to the nearest mirror, clutching his head. Severus smiled vengefully and swept from the room, holding on to what dignity he could.

* * *

One very sheepish visit to Professor Flitwick and lunch in the Great Hall, Draco (complete with normalized, if a bit sticky, hair) made his way down to the 'horseless' carriages with most of the student body.

* * *

Filch watched the hordes go with a look of glee. He turned to his companion 

"Now we can have some fun, eh?" He grinned lecherously, winking at her.

Irma Pince smiled in a coy way that belied her many years.

"I know!" She said eagerly, "Lets go to my place-"

"Of course! I thought you'd never ask!" Filch started

"- and library all the new books!" she finished smiling widely.

Filch followed Irma, dragging his feet. She would never get his ahem subtle hints.

* * *

Severus Snape looked into the mirror, seeming slightly frazzled. The mirror was kind enough to point this out to him. He cursed it. He'd tried every spell he'd known, but the pink …thing was still on his head. He sighed. There was nothing for it. He tucked his wand into his hair for safe keeping and hurried over to Flitwicks office. Flitwick wouldn't poke too much fun would he…? Ah… who was he kidding? He'd never live it down.

* * *

The Hogwarts Express puffed into Platform 9 ¾ at 9 'o' clock. Harry yawned. There had been delays in leaving Hogsmeade so the train was running an hour behind schedule- a stranger with a weird pink afro had tried to board the train looking for Flitwick. Flitwick had shied from the visitor, believing him to be an old wartime enemy and the man was forcibly ejected by a surprisingly beefy Professor McGonagal. Harry shuddered. Who knew she worked out so much…?

* * *

On the platform a cheery wave and a call of "Harry! C'mere" alerted Ron, Harry and Hermione to the rest of the 'Ginger clan'. 

'That's it, forget me, I'm only your brother' Ron grumbled. Fred turned round from his occupation of stroking a freaked Harry… (carefully not saying where).

"Don't worry lil' bro!"

"We wont forget you"

"But if you still grow…"

"You'll smell of poo!" finished George.

Ron glared at them and surreptiously smelt himself.

"Wotcher Weasleys!" Tonks stood and beamed at everyone from her perch on one of the many Hogwarts trunks.

"Yello, Tonks!" Everyone called.

"What're you doing then?" asked Ron, "I mean, did you come to pick us up too?"

"Hmm," said one of the twins intelligently, "Harry's a big boy now, he doesn't need to escorted everywhere now…?"

Tonks grinned and replied, "I'm just here to pick up my cousin."

No.

She couldn't mean…

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**(Its a bit short but nature calls lol! (sure you wanted to know that)) Muahahaha... a cliffy.. of sorts... i guess people might already know who... maybe... but hee hee hee ...(tee hee hee) ...'till next time!**


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